So yeah...earlier I was talking to a friend who also posts here, and this topic came up. First off, I am not judging anyone. Whatever makes a person feel happy is inherently the right thing for them to pursue. That being said, there seem to be two camps among the ranks of trans women.
For some, it seems idea of being treated as a woman really excites them in a sexual way. Their focus is usually about how guys relate to them or how sex after SRS will feel. Of course, every TG certainly thinks of these things...but the way some act about it makes it seem like a degradation/sissy fetish. As in, women are the weaker sex, so to take on the role of a girl gives one a rush. The more excited by this prospect a person is, the more of an act the whole thing becomes. Like oh I'm so girly so I don't know anything "manly". Instead of being themselves, theyre deliberately trying to act in some stereotypical female way. I find it a little insulting to women tbh lol.
For others, transitioning is akin to a spiritual awakening. Every day seems brighter, waking up is a more appetizing proposition. They don't consciously try to act any different, it just feels natural. Of course there is some level of excitement and sexual energy involved, but it's blended into the background of ones mind. Who wants to have sex when you're stuck with a penis anyway?
The two categories are certainly not mutually exclusive, I think most of us have a blend of the two. There are just some who I can identify with...and some who I can't.
What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL
For some, it seems idea of being treated as a woman really excites them in a sexual way. Their focus is usually about how guys relate to them or how sex after SRS will feel. Of course, every TG certainly thinks of these things...but the way some act about it makes it seem like a degradation/sissy fetish. As in, women are the weaker sex, so to take on the role of a girl gives one a rush. The more excited by this prospect a person is, the more of an act the whole thing becomes. Like oh I'm so girly so I don't know anything "manly". Instead of being themselves, theyre deliberately trying to act in some stereotypical female way. I find it a little insulting to women tbh lol.
For others, transitioning is akin to a spiritual awakening. Every day seems brighter, waking up is a more appetizing proposition. They don't consciously try to act any different, it just feels natural. Of course there is some level of excitement and sexual energy involved, but it's blended into the background of ones mind. Who wants to have sex when you're stuck with a penis anyway?
The two categories are certainly not mutually exclusive, I think most of us have a blend of the two. There are just some who I can identify with...and some who I can't.
What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL
This post was last modified: 17-08-2014, 11:04 PM by SarahSchilling.
(17-08-2014, 10:59 PM)SarahSchilling Wrote: So yeah...earlier I was talking to a friend who also posts here, and this topic came up. First off, I am not judging anyone. Whatever makes a person feel happy is inherently the right thing for them to pursue. That being said, there seem to be two camps among the ranks of trans women.
For some, it seems idea of being treated as a woman really excites them in a sexual way. Their focus is usually about how guys relate to them or how sex after SRS will feel. Of course, every TG certainly thinks of these things...but the way some act about it makes it seem like a degradation/sissy fetish. As in, women are the weaker sex, so to take on the role of a girl gives one a rush. The more excited by this prospect a person is, the more of an act the whole thing becomes. Like oh I'm so girly so I don't know anything "manly". Instead of being themselves, theyre deliberately trying to act in some stereotypical female way. I find it a little insulting to women tbh lol.
For others, transitioning is akin to a spiritual awakening. Every day seems brighter, waking up is a more appetizing proposition. They don't consciously try to act any different, it just feels natural. Of course there is some level of excitement and sexual energy involved, but it's blended into the background of ones mind. Who wants to have sex when you're stuck with a penis anyway?
The two categories are certainly not mutually exclusive, I think most of us have a blend of the two. There are just some that I can identify with...and some I can't.
What do you think about my rambling bitchy thoughts? LOL
i think your primarily 'spot' on. i see myself in the second camp of thinking. lol...try saying 'fetishists' five times fast. for me, it 'feels natural' as you said. i dont need special clothing,etc for me to feel feminine. i feel just the same in a dress as i do in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans/or jamma bottoms. heck i still have one of my ex's dress shirts i ocassionally throw on.i suppose it is a matter of perception...
i am sure there are 'grey areas ' in between,however i do think you are correct.
not to mention i am still proud of my mind and abilities. heck. i know how to do basic mechanics and know how to weld...how hot is that???
I believe that the fetishist side of me existed when I was still bathing every cell of my body in testosterone. At that time, I considered myself a crossdreamer, i.e., someone who is aroused by fantasizing about becoming a woman. It was a big factor in producing the gender dysphoria I suffered over the years.
When I started taking PM which had the unmistakable effect of driving down my T level below normal for a male, those fetishistic thoughts disappeared. And, as the female side of my psyche blossomed under the influence of E, my true feminine gender identity began to emerge. I began to feel like a woman more and more at each passing day until today, it's essentially constant. Putting on male clothes takes some effort now, and getting out of them takes on a sense of urgency.
I know a lot of straight guys who CD but don't take estrogen. I'm not saying they are fetishists. NO! Such broad assertions are not useful. But, I wouldn't discount the claim that some are.
Clara
When I started taking PM which had the unmistakable effect of driving down my T level below normal for a male, those fetishistic thoughts disappeared. And, as the female side of my psyche blossomed under the influence of E, my true feminine gender identity began to emerge. I began to feel like a woman more and more at each passing day until today, it's essentially constant. Putting on male clothes takes some effort now, and getting out of them takes on a sense of urgency.
I know a lot of straight guys who CD but don't take estrogen. I'm not saying they are fetishists. NO! Such broad assertions are not useful. But, I wouldn't discount the claim that some are.
Clara
This post was last modified: 17-08-2014, 11:38 PM by GoneGirl.
This is an interesting subject to many people. On another website I visit this topic is discussed ad nauseum and quite vigorously.
There are various camps in the discussion. There are those who believe true TS are born that way, are always totally uncomfortable in their biological skin, and always know completely and utterly that they must eventually transition. Ironically, in the same camp are those who self identitfy as strictly crossdressers with absolutely no difficulty with their bio male status, whether the dressing is sexually motivated (often) or merely to combat their GID and make them feel better. This camp likes to believe there is no movement but only a binary. Then there is an opposing camp that feels that gender is fluid and changeable and that over a lifetime an identity may change, so that what begins as a fetish may transform (no pun intended) into a full blown transitional TS status and quite rightly so.
In most cases, I find that those on each side are also possibly guilty of rationalizing their own situation, and/or practicing a little ego boosting as in those on the TS side that may be heard referring to others as "just a crossdresser" as though there is some inherent pecking order with transwomen at the top. Conversely one also hears many crossdressers loudly proclaiming that they will never transition and are totally straight heterosexual males who simply like dressing as some kind of hobby. I often wonder if they are afraid their wives may read the board and are covering their tails just in case.
But here's the thing...yes there are people that know the moment they are born that they are TS. And yes there are plenty for whom crossdressing is a pure sexual fetish. But I think, admittedly speaking with some self knowledge and some skin in this game, that there are also many in the middle of this vast spectrum of gender and sexuality, who, for whatever reason, do not know at first but must come to discover their nature. I suspect sometimes it changes over a lifetime, while in other cases, deep seated denial mechanisms put in place to cope when young, prevent full understanding until later in life.
I think there is a lot of room for acceptance of not knowing the answer to these questions and accepting rather that there is some mystery we have not and may never unravel. The human brain is the single most complicated object in the known universe. The thoughts and feelings contained within it are extremely complex and totally beyond the realm of current science to fully grasp, but rather merely guess at.
In the end, Sarah, though both your "camps" certainly exist (and in a reference that includes mention of fetishist crossdressers and by extension possibly drag entertainers, I found the choice of the word "camp" supremely amusing and ironic...tee hee), I have to believe that any attempt to stratify, label or segment the TG world must be folly to some degree. There are simply too many variables, and too many shifting dynamics at work.
Isn't it enough to accept and support and try to love at least most of them, knowing as we do that most of the world does not even share the limited understanding each of us does have of one another within this difficult misgendered community?
There are various camps in the discussion. There are those who believe true TS are born that way, are always totally uncomfortable in their biological skin, and always know completely and utterly that they must eventually transition. Ironically, in the same camp are those who self identitfy as strictly crossdressers with absolutely no difficulty with their bio male status, whether the dressing is sexually motivated (often) or merely to combat their GID and make them feel better. This camp likes to believe there is no movement but only a binary. Then there is an opposing camp that feels that gender is fluid and changeable and that over a lifetime an identity may change, so that what begins as a fetish may transform (no pun intended) into a full blown transitional TS status and quite rightly so.
In most cases, I find that those on each side are also possibly guilty of rationalizing their own situation, and/or practicing a little ego boosting as in those on the TS side that may be heard referring to others as "just a crossdresser" as though there is some inherent pecking order with transwomen at the top. Conversely one also hears many crossdressers loudly proclaiming that they will never transition and are totally straight heterosexual males who simply like dressing as some kind of hobby. I often wonder if they are afraid their wives may read the board and are covering their tails just in case.
But here's the thing...yes there are people that know the moment they are born that they are TS. And yes there are plenty for whom crossdressing is a pure sexual fetish. But I think, admittedly speaking with some self knowledge and some skin in this game, that there are also many in the middle of this vast spectrum of gender and sexuality, who, for whatever reason, do not know at first but must come to discover their nature. I suspect sometimes it changes over a lifetime, while in other cases, deep seated denial mechanisms put in place to cope when young, prevent full understanding until later in life.
I think there is a lot of room for acceptance of not knowing the answer to these questions and accepting rather that there is some mystery we have not and may never unravel. The human brain is the single most complicated object in the known universe. The thoughts and feelings contained within it are extremely complex and totally beyond the realm of current science to fully grasp, but rather merely guess at.
In the end, Sarah, though both your "camps" certainly exist (and in a reference that includes mention of fetishist crossdressers and by extension possibly drag entertainers, I found the choice of the word "camp" supremely amusing and ironic...tee hee), I have to believe that any attempt to stratify, label or segment the TG world must be folly to some degree. There are simply too many variables, and too many shifting dynamics at work.
Isn't it enough to accept and support and try to love at least most of them, knowing as we do that most of the world does not even share the limited understanding each of us does have of one another within this difficult misgendered community?
(17-08-2014, 11:12 PM)squirrelwithboobs Wrote: not to mention i am still proud of my mind and abilities. heck. i know how to do basic mechanics and know how to weld...how hot is that???
ROFL ^5 Squirrel I am not sure where I fit in, maybe neither.... I have always been fascinated with breasts, and dreamt of having my own. I do not wished to be transgendered rather I love the clothing. Hell, real women get to wear men's styles of clothing be it shoes, slacks etc. They even get the o.k. to wear men's style boxer's called boy shorts. So why shouldn't men... Then the next step, why wear bra's if there is nothing to coral?? Add to that my almost lifetime wanting to have breast's.....
Dunno, I guess I should be confused about sexuality, but in my own mind, I know what I am and how I want to get there. And I think that some feel that is a cop out, but I feel that is not so.
(17-08-2014, 11:57 PM)iaboy Wrote:(17-08-2014, 11:12 PM)squirrelwithboobs Wrote: not to mention i am still proud of my mind and abilities. heck. i know how to do basic mechanics and know how to weld...how hot is that???
I am not sure where I fit in, maybe neither.... I have always been fascinated with breasts, and dreamt of having my own. I do not wished to be transgendered rather I love the clothing. Hell, real women get to wear men's styles of clothing be it shoes, slacks etc. They even get the o.k. to wear men's style boxer's called boy shorts. So why shouldn't men... Then the next step, why wear bra's if there is nothing to coral?? Add to that my almost lifetime wanting to have breast's.....
Dunno, I guess I should be confused about sexuality, but in my own mind, I know what I am and how I want to get there. And I think that some feel that is a cop out, but I feel that is not so.
there is always the Seinfeld episode with "the bro" - the bra for men...ehhehe
(17-08-2014, 11:57 PM)iaboy Wrote: I am not sure where I fit in, maybe neither.... I have always been fascinated with breasts, and dreamt of having my own. I do not wished to be transgendered rather I love the clothing.....
That's fine iaboy. Everyone is in a class of their own as I see it.
Please don't take offense, but I want to make one small correction. You are either transgender or you're not. It's something you are born with, so I'm told. It's only a question of how much cross gender identity you have. The word 'transgendered has been removed from the vernacular. You can't be transgendered any more than you can be gayed.
Clara
You can SO be gayed. And I don't want to be. Hands off at SCC bitches!
Bahahahaha
Bahahahaha
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