[EvaMarie]

I'm glad you had such a good time, Eva. Another step forward for you. You just can't keep a good girl down. You're looking better in every picture, too, and that's got to be so satisfying for you. Hell, I'm expecting you'll be announcing your engagement by year's end.....

Hugs,
Clara

Thanks Sis Yea it was a great time but he's no different than the rest... I wont hold my breath here waiting for a marriage proposal LOL Straight guys just want to satisfy a curiosity or just a quick dirty hook up even if they are comfortable going on dates with me... Even the coolest non creepy men who I seem to really hit it off great and have a lot of fun with, a great date, all the same After it sinks it that they were with a pre op trans woman they get all guilty feeling and start feeling ashamed and they nearly all just disappear Usually they will ask me later that day or the next "who I told" WTF dude really??? Uhh I told my Mom I was going on a date, I talk to her a lot If they piss me off I usually tell them "just girl talk with my GF's" LOL Think about that and fuck off asshole at least they accept me as a woman and not some freak to be embarrassed about feeling attraction to for all the wrong reasons Then I know its pretty much over right there and that really sucks They nearly ALL want to touch the lady bits and I think that's just more than they can handle when they think about that afterwards I sure as hell don't like it I never asked for that and usually I ask them not to....

So no unless something down there changes soon and I can get rid of all traces of my old life and go 100% stealth I just cant see that happening anytime soon... BUT ya never know and I just keep going back for more of the same old shit Well at least the dates are getting better anyway I should probably try to stop being such a slut, that might help

So on a more positive note I finally get to go see my doc tomorrow and get these labs over with and hopefully get an increase in E dosage, is getting rough here the day before my shot on his low dosage Im gonna guess my E level 5 days after a 7mg shot will be between 100 and 150 pg/ml and Im thinking T will be something like 10-15ng/dl... I was at the Target pharmacy today and they said they can get Delestrogen again in 20mg/ml, about time!!! its only been at least 6 months now that its been off the market... I was starting to suspect an internal government conspiracy aimed at shuttling down the "BIG GAY" agenda LOL Im gonna ask him to send in the script and hopefully my insurance will cover it... They refuse to cover the compounded stuff Ive been using Im glad Im seeing him at 9:00 AM because Im looking forward to shooting up a nice 20mg shot in my car the minute I get out of there like some kind of E junkie Actually 10mg in each leg works even better than one big shot, cant wait

On an even more positive note I have my first job interview since 1990 and also my first ever job interview as a woman at 1:00 tomorrow Ive only been unemployed since 7-18-2008... Its a seasonal cashier job at the garden center at Lowes.... Gotta start somewhere.... I did have to consent to a drug test, a background check, credit check (its excellent but mostly in my old name ), and even had give them my previous (male) name... So Im thinking the HR guy has to know Im trans, kinda surprised he called me but at least Im gonna get a chance to make a good impression in person... So it could be a really good day tomorrow or it could also end up being pretty shitty....