[Happyme]

You seem to know a lot Lotus and I envy what you have accomplished! When you first started NBE did you have a flat chest? if so, what did you do to get breast growth? Also, what is SP and PC?

Hi sabriel,

I did start with what we could call a typical male chest (ok, flat lol). When I started developing breast tissue (pre NBE) I was concerned and made an appt. to see my now former PCP of 12 years. Very nice Dr. [90 yrs. young lol], though very old school.

Anyways.......are you sure you want to hear about this? cause there will blood ((haha)), pain, self doubt & torture (true), and perhaps lack of proper guidance, but nothing more than a few visits (3-4 different shrinks actually) would cure huh?. Oh wait!, then there was the visit to the endo (jerk) who discouraged my path, which I think led to a dark period (1.5 yrs actually) ultimately that led me to my current doc (finally, a trans friendly Physician). Btw, the endo suggested I remove the breat tissue , that's after he said " yep, those are real female breasts. At the time my GID was heavy gender fluid, and when I mention it to him (the gender fluid) he became very annoyed at the mere mention of it, his quote " there's no such things, I don't believe in the gender variants, it's either your full transition or nothing ".........so I thought to myself ( " oh hell no, you mf'er " you just discriminated against me). And although some part of me told me to take his shitty advice it pushed me to a dark place that ended up going to DIY hormones, dangerous times indeed. As for the endo, I got a nice letter announcing his retirement shortly after. I wonder how many TG folks got his shitty care?. I was seeing (still am, no anti-depressants though) a shrink, number 4 (a great guy too), he found my current TG doc.

Getting back to pre-NBE (which wasn't even on the radar at the time) sent me for a mammogram, and was diagnosed with gyno (gynecomastia). So.......naturally seeking more info I jumped on the " World Wide Web " and found breast nexus, which I found inspiration from flamsabers, technical guidance from Abidrew and Isabelle. At that point I had what you would call puffy nipples, but the more important question is why did I want this path????, well, I still have my doubts about that, although I lean towards the thought my GID lay dormant (for years) and with the start of NBE, the walls (bells rang lol) came crashing down I guess.

I started with the typical NBE program of RC (red clover), FG (fenugreek) SP (saw palmetto), PC (progesterone cream), I stayed with that for about 6-8 months (if I remember correctly) which yielded about 1 cup increase. The next program i went with PM capsules (pueraria mirifica) add 1 cup more. I experimented with BO (w/disastrous infections) e.g. damaged my right eye permanently (a retinal hemorrhage, aka blood) requiring laser eye surgery to plug the leak. Add in a major ear/jaw infection, a trip to the ER for an acute bout of colitis, which was followed by a colonoscopy (btw, the prep was god awful) to rule out further problems. Which is the reason why I won't recommend BO (bovine ovary).

The 3-4th NBE program I went to extracts (for the most part), and then modified with different anti-androgens & pro aromatase supps........add 1-2 cups more growth from those mods. My idea (or thought process was to keep pushing with breast growth and some feminization), lol which obviously went further then expected ok. As I battled with GID, the two sides (male/female) clashed (still an epic throw down though) the female side demand(s) more control lmao, so call it what you will, meaning a two-spirit??, or non-binary gender/ gender fluid???, I'm still working on that part but I'm on path of transition, hey it works (or is working) for now. I will eventually add some essence to the female side (short term?? 3-6 months??? not sure), but I surely don't look like I did 2-3 years ago. Will I need cosmetics, maybe? maybe not, will see what HrT does in the near term first.

Sheesh, this has been therapeutic, thanks sabriel, I usually don't go this deep about myself lol (too boring imo lol) sorry for the long drawn out. whatever path you (we) take, finding the right care sometimes take a tortuous path (or journey) to find them (unfortunately). And sadly, good people are lost forever in this maddening process to find the right medical care, it needs to be fixed.

O, I did have a couple early puffy nipple pics up, but in a major dust up (here at BN) back in the day they were deleted (by me) (perhaps a discussion for another day).

Thanks for the great story Lotus! I love reading these real stories especially with the continuing gender bashing in the news. Its just so hard to explain to someone what its like.
Thanks for all that you have done and still do!
Bobbi