[julieTG]

Now this is probably my own fault for reading up late at night
But it shows us all what we face here and I scratch my head as too what a therapist would say ?
Whenever I read about a trans sexual or what ever label ? going on “low dose” hormones I get exicted , jealous and want to be one ???
Now I am convinced a lot of my yearning comes from too much libido as do many other of us girls have same,
What activated me last night was the following sentence from a girl on low does HRT,
“when I am taking hrt all desires diminish and the nonsense stops in my head , when I stop again, the rage , the yearning, the desire comes back full force”
Now last night and to be honest not too happy about was
I had an erection ALL NIGHT , I kid you not at the thought of growing , well actually am growing breasts,
Every damn half hour I awoke and it was still their, it literally never went down all night, one hand on breasts the other on the tackle, every half hour I awoke annoyed and thinking this is bloody ridiculous,
It got me thinking though and proves too me us girls have to do or take something whether its hrt , herbs, etc,
I mean what exactly would a therapist say , they cannot talk an erection away ?
So in a way its validation too me that something has to be consumed too quell the fire ?
In essence something too kill the libido too stop me desiring too be a woman,
It was rammed home last night,
“my hormones must be out of balance” as I really was a like a cat on heat,
By the way , I am on large doses at the moment, so I suppose it could be t levels ramping and fighting the herbs, but what an extreme level kick, also I am getting
“fast growth” at the moment so its all a little puzzling,

Julie

[flamesabers]

Hello Julie,

I have a few thoughts about your post.

With wanting to be a transsexual, I think the grass is always greener on the other side. I don't intend to sound kurt here, but I think it's important to remember that transsexuals, just like any other group of individuals have an array of problems they must contend with.

A number of members I think have said taking pm diminishes their desire to transition. I think this makes sense if you see pm as something that feminizes you enough to sate this desire. In regards to the recurring erection, I think some members have reported their sex drive actually increasing while being on pm. In your case though, maybe your body is becoming insensitive to the high doses?

I'm not sure what a therapist would say. I've never seen one for issues regarding gender or sexual matters.

In my experience, there has been times when my sex drive tried to reassert itself. Those are short-lived though and I think they're becoming more infrequent. It's probably not a coincidence, but I've noticed that a dose effective for brain rewiring is also sufficient for keeping my sex drive in a decline.

[AbiDrew85]

Hello Julie,

I have a few thoughts about your post.

With wanting to be a transsexual, I think the grass is always greener on the other side. I don't intend to sound kurt here, but I think it's important to remember that transsexuals, just like any other group of individuals have an array of problems they must contend with.

A number of members I think have said taking pm diminishes their desire to transition. I think this makes sense if you see pm as something that feminizes you enough to sate this desire. In regards to the recurring erection, I think some members have reported their sex drive actually increasing while being on pm. In your case though, maybe your body is becoming insensitive to the high doses?

I'm not sure what a therapist would say. I've never seen one for issues regarding gender or sexual matters.

In my experience, there has been times when my sex drive tried to reassert itself. Those are short-lived though and I think they're becoming more infrequent. It's probably not a coincidence, but I've noticed that a dose effective for brain rewiring is also sufficient for keeping my sex drive in a decline.

As a TS I can confirm that things are not necessarily easy here either. Different. But definitely not easy. But that's not actually how I read Julie's post... I read it more as becoming aroused at thinking of themselves as being changed. Which I suppose is the very definition of autogynephilia... Which is something I most assuredly do not understand. Oh... I've had thoughts that COULD be construed as autogynephilic... but on closer inspection it's really just a very female arousal pattern asserting itself in strange ways due to my unusual circumstances.

Also as a full TS I don't think PM has that effect on us, in regards to the urge to transition. Honestly I don't think it's done much to me in that regard at all. Neither to push me towards or away from my inevitable full transition.

I imagine you're probably right for those that it does that for... It's just "never enough" for a full TS until they are fully changed as anatomically as possible. And if it were possible to be TRULY complete, we'd jump on it.

As regards the sex drive however... Definitely gives me a crazy sex drive. Like. Nympho level. When my estrogens get high enough, I'm ready to jump into bed with just about any provocation. Though I resist it and then satisfy myself later. At peak doses it's all I can do to drag myself away from myself sometimes. And I'm CONSTANTLY distracted by it. I quite literally become a "bitch in heat" once a month, lol.

[julieTG]

Abi

you made me smile there, bitch on heat, normally though high esotregen dampens, but, mine is just ramped so am like you,

It will flump though , did last time and I shook my head when t went down, sperm went clear and I went "what "

This time Im ready though, so when the flump comes I shall decrease the dose and carry on,

I have a bra waiting for those breasts,

One lovely girl on another forum said what I need to do and what the herbs do is

moudulate the sine wave , ie ultra male, ultra girl, so I will get the extremes as the urges come round but the peaks will have softened, ie

medium male, medium girl,

Must admit can relate too that,

Now on the subject of autogyinphelia used too think I was or still am, but apparently a lot of fetish based TS are the same ? Hum ?

What concerns me an itsy itsy bit is a lot of people have suddenly declared thier full blown TS and transitioned with a lot less ultra patterns than I have shown,

On the very positive side of that statement if you look at the sfem pole as why we do this (thank you sfem), it makes very good reading for our spouses as the tiny percentage who by growing breasts are considering themselves transitioning ? Excellent.

Yet you go on other sites where they grow the tiniest buds and there a full blow TS ready for the chop ?????

Go figure,


Julie

[Mickie]

There have been times that I thought that hormones might be a `panacea`as it were to rapid growth. However, I felt that the NBE would be a better way, for me at least, to try to enhance.

Perhaps in a while I might re-evaluate my position.. but for now, PM seems to be working.... albeit slowly

[julieTG]

well the pm can give outstanding growth rates, yet still be controllable,

synthetics are not that controllable and with some girls can whisk them away too fast , before they realise a mistakes been made ,

Pm can be slow or fast and gives some time too enjoy the "swing and sway"

The other alternative is too use herb combinations and shut the t down faster and add the esotroegn herbs and then an even more gentle growth curve can be established,

On the same Girl, for instance ,
synthetics can have big results, 6 months or less
pm, 8 months-12 months for same , if not better ?
herb mixtures 2-4 years, lovely results,

Yet some Girls you can double or treble scales

Julie

one thing with PM is you can gain growth without the t factories being shut

[Marina Kits]

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I thought it was typical for PM to CAUSE a strong desire to cross dress and transition when the dose got really high (like 3000mg+ per day). In Julie's case, perhaps she it taking too much??? Perhaps the "strong desires for ______" is really an increased sex drive???

For me, I'm taking 2000mg per day + 640 SP and it holds my sex drive to nearly nothing and therefore, very little desire to cross dress, masturbate or transition. Once in a blue moon, I'll have a little trouble getting "inflated" but NEVER do I have an unwanted erection. ...And certainly ALL NIGHT!!! Holy buckets Julie!

One last thing. Does anyone have any experience with the herb, Chaste Tree Berry? It's supposedly good for reducing sex drive so it makes me wonder if it's a natural anti androgen and if it would be of any use in NBE. Better or worse than SP???

[flamesabers]

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I thought it was typical for PM to CAUSE a strong desire to cross dress and transition when the dose got really high (like 3000mg+ per day). In Julie's case, perhaps she it taking too much??? Perhaps the "strong desires for ______" is really an increased sex drive???

I think individual results can vary. (Or maybe I'm just an outlier).

I take 4,000 mg every day for three days of the week, the other four days of the week my daily dose is 2,500 mg. Interests like crossdressing, transitioning, and sex drive are not strong for me.

[julieTG]

Holy Buckets it was indeed

Now I like erections there FUN, but not all night like that

It was almost as I had taken viagra or something,

My first time round on PM I had similar , see prev posts , LOL

Libido ramped through roof, but nothing like the other night,

In a way I know its excitement about growing breasts, but hope it wears off as its exhausting,

Trouble now is my aerolas have now puffed deep red and swollen and my nipples are hard all the time,

This is now causing me too play with them more and turn me on

Julie