[Connie]

Showing off your breasts
I tried this question on another site, but I didn't get much of a response. Hope this will be better.

I know that some of you guys have pretty large breasts. I'd like to know if you present still as a man, and how you hide your breasts- if you do. Or, do you just let them show and enjoy the curious looks? Or, do you present as a woman, full or part time. And finally, when and how do you show them off. It would seem that after so much time and trouble to grow lovely breasts, there should be some way of showing them off.

[flamesabers]

Hello Connie.

Since I've been taking pm for only about seven months, I don't have significant breast growth yet. However, swimming and otherwise going topless in public is out of the question for me. In the very least, my areolas has changed from a masculine to a feminine appearance. In addition my breasts do move about somewhat when running and I have to be careful about anything coming into contact with my breasts, such as when I'm carrying a box or something.

I still present as a male, but my goal is to attain more of an androgynous appearance. I know I wouldn't want to flaunt my breasts when they're developed, but at the same time I don't think I'll be going out of my way to hide them either. In other words, I think I'll be modest about my breasts but not ashamed of them.

[sfem]

I don't flaunt them, nor do I hide them. I very rarely go topless, and never around kids whose guardians might decide they have to be offended or something. I get a lot of second takes and a ton of people who think they're being covert with their peering. The funniest is the people who look then look away but can't keep looking away. Their eyes keep going down whether they want them to or not. LOL

[flamesabers]

The funniest is the people who look then look away but can't keep looking away. Their eyes keep going down whether they want them to or not. LOL

LOL, sfem.

This reminds me of those shirts that say "hey, my eyes are up here" (arrow pointing upwards).

[AbiDrew85]

I'm just going to quote my reply in the other thread:

Since I do happen to be presently legally identified as male, as much as I hate that fact, I suppose I can still answer this.

I present full time as female. Have been since before I even started my NBE program. I am transsexual... For now. I will cease to allow myself to use that label as soon as I am able to pass completely undetected.

As it is, I use the womens restrooms. I wear bras and panties and womens outer clothes. As far as I am concerned, I am a woman.

I'm sort of the anomaly around here though.

[aleah]

I am in the same boat as AbiDrew, except I have not come out to my family or older friends and am not full time just yet.

But I have only started my transition with NBE but I will probably one day get onto proper HRT. Until I am passable, no pictures or public appearances in places where older acquaintances can recognize me will happen.

As for my extremely conservative family that will most likely never understand, I don't see them that often anyway and I can always just wear a compression bra and blame them Gynecomastia at worst case.

[Lenneth]

many sadly have family that would never understand and are likely to make a major scene/fuss/etc over it rather than let matters alone.

myself included.

personally I think it comes from society as a whole constantly from the moment of birth instilling a phobia of anything that does not meet one or another of a small few very strict standards of what is classified as "Normal", and also instilling a reflex level reaction to ridicule it.

sorry for going off on a tangent, back on topic, I have no intention of going full time, and will only "Conceal" mine around family that would never even attempt to understand, perhaps also at any jobs that have a similar problem, I have no intention to "put them on display" as it were either.

[beverley.rose]

Lenneth and Aleah

I used to post here and every few weeks or so I pop in and have a read. There are few people left here who I know so I bother very little with it any more, but when I read your posts I decided to comment.

I started here with FG/SP/RC and then moving to PM. I soon realised that there was more driving me than a need for boobs and so I went and consulted the medical profession. I am now transitioning male to female.

I reached the point in my transition were I had to come out to others, not because my boobs were getting hard to hide but because *I* was too hard to hide. My skin changed tone and softness, my hair changed texture and began growing in spots that where previously bald. My body shape changed too, waist, boobs, hips and leg shape. My facial shape changed. At one point my own mother did not recognize me - seriously!

What I am saying to you is that it is not a case of "Oh I will wear a sports bra and nobody will notice". It does not work like that. PM is as strong as mild HRT drugs and if you take it then you are starting a gender transition because that is what happens when you put oestrogenic compounds into your body.

Less than two years ago I lived as a male 24/7. Now I live as a female 24/7. Just be aware of that. You may not intend to transition but hiding the changes will be very, very difficult.

[Lenneth]

I am aware and thank you for your concern beverly, that is why I take precautions such as cold turkey breaks etc.

and like everyone here knows all to well, things are different for everyone.

[aleah]

Thanks for your concern and warning beverly, it is appreciated.

You are right, some people will notice changes and it will be hard to hide at some point. Let me run you and others from my thoughts/plan on this subject, maybe it will be of help to others.

First off, my dad will never understand, I come from a conservative religious family and I will simply be an outcast. Doctors/therapists have all told me I should try to come out but they simply don't know my family, even coming out as gay/bi would be enough to ruin most of my relationships. That is not an option, I would rather fight tooth and nail to keep it a secret then lose them outright.

I already mentioned Gynocomestia and a compression bra for hiding breasts, but what about the other changes?

Skin
Well hormones do change skin, make it softer and redistribute fat in the face a little. But luckily, I am young still, only 24 and my face has always been quite soft (people have commented on me having baby skin) since I tended to avoid sports/the sun a lot.

If you haven't got soft skin, start using cleanser, toner, moisturizer and other skin care products months before you start transitioning. Preparation is key, you need plausible deniability based on circumstances from BEFORE your transition. Also make sure people see you using it, visit your family and bring your products.

Fat redistribution
Well this can only be seen without clothes, so key is to just wear baggy male clothing. Which I have almost always worn my whole life. Once again, if you haven't worn them, start wearing them before your transition and make sure people see it.

Hair reduction
This is similiar to skin, start shaving/trimming your hair before your transition. If anyone asks why you are doing it, there are many good reasons, including women find it more attractive for men in the modern age. (My dad even accepted that one after I got rid of my arm and leg hair.)

Electrolysis/eyebrow trimming
These 2 can have more of an impact on feminizing you, even more then most of the effects from HRT. But they are also impossible to hide. If you've always had a thick beard and 5 o'clock shadow then you might find it especially hard to get away with electrolysis without anyone noticing.

Luckily (I know this sounds weird) I have a skin condition, rosecea and dermatitis. Also I'm prone to outbreaks, so lets say I have problem skin. I managed to convince my dad that I needed to do "laser treatment" for my skin condition but that it would also as a side effect remove my hair follicles for a long time.

The best thing I can recommend is to just do electrolysis long before your transition, like I am now, then give people time to get used to you without your 5 o'clock shadow.

Same goes for eyebrows, if you want to wear them full-time and not have to grow them out for family visits. Go see a professional and get them trimmed to something that would look good for a man, then few weeks later go again but go a little further. You might get some weird looks but atleast they will see you doing this as a male and get used to it.

The rest
Everything else is conscious choices you make, clothing, mannerisms and voice. You will simply have to practise switching between the two, get used to it before you make your transition, it will be much easier then to meld into both social genders. Also some people might want to start dressing more "metro", so when you transition back to male atleast it suits your newer persona and even if something slips through, someone notices, they will just assume you are a product of this modern society (if they are seeing you from a conservative pre-modern religious point of view especially).

Sorry for the big post, but the trick really is to let people get used to seeing the changes GRADUALLY. People are far less likely to notice a gradual change then a sudden one and to have plausible deniability for any possible change by establishing pre-transition precedents (also TAKE PICTURES for proof!).

Old friends who see you rarely will probably be shocked, but they aren't family, and usually won't say anything or will just stop having contact with you. But if they are old friends, that you never see, then I guess you haven't lost much.

Warning
Living a secret life is not easy, as therapists have pointed out to me, it can really wear a toll on people and lead to depression! Please consult your doctor/therapists before you make any life changing choices and carefully weigh how much WORK it will be to keep up such a charade. This is ONLY for people with no choice, if you have a reasonable chance of coming out to your family then you have to do it, even if it's tough emotionally. This is a last resort, not an easy way out!

Hope this is useful to someone!