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How did you come out to your significant other, if you have one, or gf, or whoever it may be about your breast growth? Were they accepting, did they run for the hills or did they accept, encourage and help along with stay with you for the ride? Also if you did not tell them you were growing breasts how did you convince them that you had no idea what was going on you just now have breasts and thats what it is.
Always curious and intrigued by how others pull off developing female shaped and full developed breasts and keep relationships or convince otherwise to deter hurt that their boyfriend/husband might be a lil off his rocker lol
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It is best to be open about your decision. I hope you ate not offended by this remark, but by keeping it secret and fretting over whether or not she'll find out, you will have created your own stress-filled hell. Do not fear the possibility of sorrow, rather, you should accept that it is a part of life and a chance to learn.
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I am male so.its very difficult to say "baby I know you will refuse the idea but I want.to be open.and honest. I did some Googling and found a fairly cheap herbal product completely safe that will.enhance.my chest.to a more female fashion just want you to.know.I am.going.to try it.out. I think.personally it would make me.feel.better and more confident and whole as a person and.I.think.it.will dramatically.increase our sex life I don't wish or.want to be a woman just have larger chest. I understand this may make.u not.want.to be with me.but just want to be honest so.u know" or would that not be a good.way to break.it to.her
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(26-07-2012, 03:24 PM)Tiffany314 Wrote: I am male so.its very difficult to say "baby I know you will refuse the idea but I want.to be open.and honest. I did some Googling and found a fairly cheap herbal product completely safe that will.enhance.my chest.to a more female fashion just want you to.know.I am.going.to try it.out. I think.personally it would make me.feel.better and more confident and whole as a person and.I.think.it.will dramatically.increase our sex life I don't wish or.want to be a woman just have larger chest. I understand this may make.u not.want.to be with me.but just want to be honest so.u know" or would that not be a good.way to break.it to.her
That's pretty much what I said, in meaning if not the actual words.
However, I had come out as a someone with a pressing need to crossdress when I proposed to her. If I'd know the real truth then, I would have told her that. It's definitely not something should try, or even can, get away with.
Also, no point in hiding behind the fact that you are male. To want what you want, you almost certainly have a somewhat feminised brain.
There's a saying I've heard from your part of the world: You pay now or you pay later, but you still pay.
Don't mean to be a downer, but you aren't going to going to be able to avoid the truth at some stage.
B.
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I understand that, I think its just difficult for me cause of the fact weeks ago she questioned my very feminine characteristics, urge to shave legs and arms, only enjoying wearing womens underwear, feminine styling of eyebrows. She questioned and I tested the waters out of being a dumbass and said i think i might be trans, she asked if im gay or think i am and or want to be a woman fully, srs. I said no not that I know of I just know i feel like a woman and want to express my feminine ways. We talked about everything from us not being togethre casue shes not a lesbian, to me doing my nails and growing hair out (shave my head usually) and styling it. Taking baby steps to allow adjustment to take place.
I understand the consequences of hiding myself, and I understand that after our talk weeks ago and even after denying it saying I just say dumb things when I'm lost in fantasy and allow reality to be hibernated for the moment. And I guess only hope I had which she did in believing me was that I have absolutely 0 female mannerisms, i dont walk like one, dont look like one, dont act like one, im in the gym daily lifting weights, fairly strong guy. So i think the fact that I have no female attributes to myself or characteristics helped me out in not hurting her more then she was. We are good now and I tried to push the temptation and desire out of my head and life, but not long after it returns in full force and I am trapped again in a web of secrets and self.
I do not want to hide from her, I do not wish to hurt her or embarrass her or let her feel betrayed or as if I can't talk to her bout this. But if she refuses to let me shave my legs, what place in her mind is going to allow her to say give it a shot when her boyfriends says, i dont desire to be a woman, or dress or look like one, but i believe the reason behind all this is the fact that I truly and sincerely desire the need to have breasts, not large ones just something. I have seen countless talks on herbs and such you can buy online and even walgreen type places and would like to try them out. I know you don't believe herbs work or can do that kind of stuff, but who knows if they work for me they would definitely work for you. (she doesnt like her brerasts wants them more full and lifted). If because of our talk weeks ago makes you want to hate me or leave me or think the worst i understand, understand though that I didnt mean what I said then, I was talking out of context of the issue I am making here and assumed if I wanted breasts i must want to be somethign else, but im not and breasts is all i want.
She would leave me for sure, opposed to me growing them and eventually not being able to hide them at all and blaming hormone imbalance or some sort. Idk maybe it just seems like the easy way out and manageable opposed to a path of stress, fighting and shame on both parties.
She was heavily abused in her last relationship, I have taken a huge toll on my own life from her mistrust and demands to not see my friends cause she dont like them but never even met one of them, and just a list of this and that that i cannot do or indulge in, and I just feel I have not only earned but deserve the right to be who I desire to be, am i wrong? I know she deserves the truth but being a 26 year old man its very embarrassing and shameful to look someone who wont understand in the eye and judge and be hurt and tell them something you know they will be disgusted over.
I have posted botu this issue a few times on other threads, and I apologize I am not trying to troll the topic just helps to vent when you have no where else to vent. Thanks for listening and thanks for support and advice and honesty
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Don't forget the side effect that has surprised almost all of us...after a couple of months or so on PM ( or the other phyto-estrogen herbs) you'll most likely suddenly realise that the need to dress/be overtly feminine just isn't there at anything like the same strength.
You'll be thinking " No, mine wont go away", just as I did.....
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As in it turns from desire to.normality? Or.no.desire to.do.so at all
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(26-07-2012, 07:58 PM)Tiffany314 Wrote: As in it turns from desire to.normality? Or.no.desire to.do.so at all
No desire to cross-dress, pluck eyebrows or do any of those things.
My best guess is that when the brain gets the estrogen level it needs, that satisfies the "feminity deficit" to the extent that you don't need the other aspects, which were caused by your feminised brain wanting to externalise its feminity.
The only reason I am currently taking PM is to get the calm mental balance that I cannot achieve without it.
The price for that is that my breasts are growing, and have been for 10 months. I have to admit that I do like having them, but I am able to present as a male without difficulty so far. It would be most convenient for me if they now stopped growing, but every time I cut down on my dose, I start to obsess about them getting bigger and
that feeling only goes away if I up the dose again - a bit like the Jekyll and Hyde story!
It enables me to function normally as a male, act like one, not waste time agonising over clothing and cosmetics, but the downside is that I am unlikely ever to go to a swimming pool again.
Perhaps if you pointed out the possible mental stability aspects of PM your girlfriend might be reassured a little bit.
B.
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That is a brilliant idea. Cause honestly only reason.I incorporate pm is same thing mental calmness
"Babe I have very bad anxiety and stres (I do) and I was Googling and this natural herb came up a ton of places (it is advertised for anxiety as well how.I originally.found it) and was thinking of trying it out it seems to.work.just as well as medication just natural not synthetically lab created with chemicals.and such. Very cheap and.think.its worth a shot to help keep me at a more self peace instead of stressing and being upset all.the time...
sound alright?
Only issue I.know she'll Google it out.of.curiosity so.what do I say when.she brings up.the issue that this herb is also for feminization?
I really wish I.had.more of a spine damnit.lol.
I think.its more though her 1st bf cheated 2nd abused her ans now me the one who.wants to.express his.femininity physically lol its got to take a toll.on ones self worth to.get hit back to back.
wish I could.just shave my.legs and be like this is.me it upsets u yes but I've held.this in for my whole.life holding it any longer is just making.me.want to.do.it.more and leave this relationship so I can be who.I am are you going to look past my feminine side and see that u have an.overall man who.cares and loves u or see the physical.and run and leave. I have a feminine.side I want to express it I don't want to be a woman just want to physically accept ans let loose this side of.me
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(27-07-2012, 12:16 AM)Tiffany314 Wrote: "Babe I have very bad anxiety and stres (I do) and I was Googling and this natural herb came up a ton of places (it is advertised for anxiety as well how.I originally.found it) and was thinking of trying it out it seems to.work.just as well as medication just natural not synthetically lab created with chemicals.and such. Very cheap and.think.its worth a shot to help keep me at a more self peace instead of stressing and being upset all.the time...
sound alright?
Only issue I.know she'll Google it out.of.curiosity so.what do I say when.she brings up.the issue that this herb is also for feminization?
I really wish I.had.more of a spine damnit.lol.
I think one possible downside with this approach is she may inquire how much investigating you've done to find other herbs or methods to gain a sense of mental calmness. If you haven't done much looking around in this regard, she may question why are you so eager to take a herb that causes feminization, unless it is something you already wanted in the first place. Since it sounds like you want to feminize your body but still live as a male, I suggest telling her that. If you just wanted the mental calmness and not the physical feminization of your body, I think this would be a different issue entirely.
From what you've said about your girlfriend, it sounds like it's not the feminization itself that bothers her so much as your desire to feminize yourself. It's like your motivates in this matter is what she puts under more scrutiny than the end results. Perhaps the issue is more about whether she will accept your desire to be feminine rather than you growing a pair of breasts?
