[bryony]

I meant more along the lines of his statement that people who want to be different than the rest of the world sees as being "normal" must have something wrong with their brain.

That's not what I intended for you to infer. The paraphrasing is all wrong.

I'm not particularly trying to persuade you - if you are happy then great! I'm just putting forward my point of view as it pertains to me.

What I intended to say that a lot of people have suffered (including me) because of gender dysphoria. They feel that they "are in the wrong body". The best guess - which is all that mental health is in most cases - is due to the developing brain not receiving an appropriate amount of male hormone in the mother's womb to match the body that it is destined to develop due to its X-Y chromosomes.

This feeling of "being in the wrong body" had to start in the brain.
Since the the body has developed correctly, according to its X-Y pattern, if the brain perceives its body as being "wrong", it has to be the brain that is "wrong".

It isn't a matter of "wants" - wanting doesn't come in to it. The world perceives a male brain in a male body as normal because that is what it is - fitting under the largest bulge of the normal distribution.

I accept that I am "abnormal", but because I know why, and the herbal remedy exists to enable me to live with it, I am as content as I can be.

(To be more content, I'd have to be half my age, single, with a boat load of money for all the operations I would need.)

(To be even more content, I'd need to be born now, and given puberty-suppressing drugs.)

Maybe I wasn't clear. My "heresy" is in the belief that it is better for me accept that my TS desires are due to a congential brain developmental problem, enabling me to function and present as a male, than to repeat the mantra that I was born in the wrong body and try to "correct" it.

Ironically, part of this treatment causes breast growth!

B.

[Kell92]

I'm sorry you feel this way and I can relate to what you are saying. I'm one of the younger ones on the website by the looks of it also. I've been driven to some crazy stuff, such as a DIY, and I can't bare any kind of movement. I have also sworn I will not live this way. Like I have already mentioned in 2 of my posts, I have been admitted to hospital, yet I will still not talk about it? I have a partner who loves me, and sex does not exist in our relation, because I can't do anything, I have tried but nothing works, neither is it of a size that can. Life has been difficult and I can't believe I got through school and didn't do pe once.

When I look in a mirror I can literally have anxiety attacks, and if I feel movement down there which is rare, I freak out. I looked for answers everywhere, and studied the bible even to try and find my identity. SRS is a massive risk, and many have died due to the wrong aftercare. I could if I wanted to have it removed, but I focus on tomorrow and get on with today. I think it's amazing that many go a head with it, I'm just scared of it going bad and dying. Those who love me would be distraught. I don't have the average male characteristics, but I'm still unhappy. I do understand how you feel.

Are you under counsil? And a psychiatrist? If not You need to tell your doctor and get referred to someone who understands. If your partner is ok with you and knows how you feel, you need to tell her how serious you really are. I still have bad days and every week I say to my partner I will go next week to see someone. I think unless you feel trapped, disturbed by what you see etc, no one really does understand.

I hope you find the right help and fulfil what you know is right. Speak to your partner and tell them how you "really" feel. You don't have a kink or just a desire to grow boobs, so get some proper professional help. If you really want something so bad you'll go get it. I myself, do not feel I can live with that down there, it's causing me to withdraw and stay in the bedroom. I do a hide away and cut myself off from everyone, it's a Lonly plc when our heads screw up. It's so frustrating, and will eventualy get to you so bad you'll end up in hospital. Get help now, and stop putting yourself down. Kell

[Kell92]

I did pe in both primary and middle. Not high, Wow I was blessed.

[Demon Lord Etna]

Great advice Kell... but who was it directed at? To whom are you relating?

[bryony]

Great advice Kell... but who was it directed at? To whom are you relating?

I'd be interested to know too... I don't think either of us really?

Like I said, I'm using PM to cope and I'm pretty much fine at the moment.

Kell, I saw this earlier thread
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=12074
and it looks like you've had some excellent advice, but from what you say above, it doesn't sound like you've decided to see a counsellor yet? It really sounds to me like it would be a good idea for you.

I think if I felt the same way that you do, and PM wasn't doing the job for me, that would be my next step.

B.

[Kell92]

I'm sorry if I've read this thread incorrect, I skipped a page or 2. Believe me I know what I need to do, but I've got a mental block in my head. I'd hurt my dad if I was to
Take things further. One doctor clicked what was wrong and causing all these outbursts, but I denied her discernment. I was in hospital at that time. I Wang PM to help me, and I take a large dose, but no peace of mind? I've got boobs and my body Is naturally feminine, but I can't except things down there. I hate it. I will one day, but as long as my dads about I can't , or should I say I won't. I'm on some meds for anxiety, and my psychiatrist is ok, but I can't talk to him,. He's really nice but I won't say anything about certain areas of my life.

Once again, sorry for my post, I thought bryony you wanted to transition. That'll teach me to read the threads one by one in the future.

Love Kell

[bryony]

... I'd hurt my dad if I was to take things further.

... I've got boobs and my body Is naturally feminine, but I can't except things down there. I hate it.

Hmmm. If your body looks feminine, your dad must be aware of it.

As a father I know that it would, or should, hurt him a lot more if he knew that you were suffering to protect his feelings.

I can assure you that there are only 3 people in the world that I would happily die to protect and 2 of them are my kids. If your dad doesn't feel the same way, believe me he isn't worth protecting; if he does, you should/must talk with him about this.

I will one day, but as long as my dads about I can't , or should I say I won't. I'm on some meds for anxiety, and my psychiatrist is ok, but I can't talk to him,. He's really nice but I won't say anything about certain areas of my life.

I'm pretty sure it's worthless having a psychiatrist that you cannot speak freely with. Everything you say is confidential, so what is the downside? It seems a waste of someone's money if the real problem is not discussed.

I Want PM to help me, and I take a large dose, but no peace of mind?

This is odd, since in another post you said that it did.
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=12109&pid=51563#pid51563
"PM like some have stated reduces anxiety, obsessional neurosis and yes it does take you to dream land regarding your body"

Why the change of mind?

Once again, sorry for my post, I thought bryony you wanted to transition. That'll teach me to read the threads one by one in the future.

No problem - it was possibly a case of "tldr". The last points I made were that in a different life I would have transitioned, but coulda-shoulda-woulda never got me anywhere!

B.

[Kell92]

Hey bryony,

I'm replying via phone ATM so please bare with me. I do feel good & PM is amazing and our body's whilst taking it start to help the mind. I'm on a lot of meds for anxiety, and Im either up or I am down. My partner can't stress enough how much she loves me, but I can't believe it some days. I don't believe she really likes someone like myself & in the magazines are men who look like so called "real men",
My dad would be upset, and he forgets sometimes that I do have issues regarding my gender, and I've heard him with his mates cracking jokes at a few things that you could fit me into, do you know what I mean? My psychiatrist focuses on my depression and anxiety, and believe me everytime I go, I am always ready to say something and I never do. I just sit there and my partner sits with me. Yes it does need addressing as it may be the cure of all the anxiety etc.

Today I have received my Dutasteride from united pharmacies.co.uk, Isabelle said there the best DHT blockers and with PM I hope for better results. I know I can't be a DIY TS, but if I can lower my T levels and my body hair slows down ANX it stops the any feeling down there I'm happy for now.

What do you know about dutasteride bryony? I took my first ANC no reaction so I'm happy to continue. I've stressed that I will get help and get this removed, just not ATM. Also I need to get my head straight. My moods are hypo or low, Ive been like it all my life, so nothing's new. Does anyone have any input regarding DHT blocker dutasteride. ??

Kell x

[Kell92]

And*

[KristenM]

Hi All
Thank you all for some very interesting insight on PM. I have been following these threads for a couple of months now and decided one month ago to try it. Thanks especially to Bryony! I seach out your posts! You seem to understand so much about the true effects of this substance. You are very articulate and I share so much your sentiment.

I'm 53 ...I began 1 month ago
500mg week one
1000mg week two
1500mg week 3 and 4.
I tried 2000mg once but it seemed too much for me to handle

I also use the cream morning and night.

Results...very sensitive nipples...always puffy
I cant say that anyone would notice a change in breast size. But by touch, they feel fuller...definately softer...maybe because of the cream.
I am actually shocked that there is any noticable difference so soon!

Sex drive: Decreased...even more than usual. Depression had kept it low already. But this "area" has become softer...it still works but not as well...I need a lot of mental stimulation. Which is becoming quite the effort.
I also notice that I cant hold my pee at all and at times I quickly lose control and I'm racing to a bathroom.
But this may or may not be related?

Twice in the last 2 weeks I woke up with severve body pains. A little scary in fact last night. I may have overheated but I could not let anything touch my body, like the blankets. Eventually I took an advil and cooled down. Almost like growing pains that a child might experience???

I didnt expect to feel changes so quickly in my body and I was ready to go cold turkey this morning...until I noticed my nipples even more swollen....so I decided to keep at it....maybe reduce back to 1000 mg a day.

What sold me on trying the PM was Bryonys description of the calming effects. I have to admit that this has occured. But now that I'm faced with possibly the complete loss of labido and who knows what other potential side effects...I'm becoming a little stressed again.
I'm not too worried that people will notice any physical changes for many months ...if ever...and I dont know if I will last that long on PM.

Bryony...are you on kind of a maintence plan now? Are you seeking more growth? Have you achieved noticable growth to the point that you can no longer take off your shirt in public?

I have not yet told my wife that I'm using the PM...She will fear I'm ready for a transition... and that is not in the cards. But she will still fear it.

Sorry for the novel.

Kristen