Why did you think you disliked yourself, Flame? Any elaboration on the insecurity?

I don't think there was a sole specific cause, but I did have a speech impediment while growing up. I was always so worried I would embarrass myself or that others would make fun of me for the way I talked. It was hard to see any good traits or qualities in myself. I saw myself as an unlikable person for lack of a better term.

That had to suck. I mean really. How did you get past the impediment?

Speech therapy helped. I suppose I also just outgrew as I got older.

Sarah,

Why are you being so hostile? You're not drunk again are you!

Sarah,

Why are you being so hostile? You're not drunk again are you!

Nope. I just really want those shoes.

Also, I keep telling you all, I'm kinda a bitch relative to most of you. I'm smiling while cursing though. Can't read tone in text, I suppose.

Why did you think you disliked yourself, Flame? Any elaboration on the insecurity?

I don't think there was a sole specific cause, but I did have a speech impediment while growing up. I was always so worried I would embarrass myself or that others would make fun of me for the way I talked. It was hard to see any good traits or qualities in myself. I saw myself as an unlikable person for lack of a better term.

That had to suck. I mean really. How did you get past the impediment?

Speech therapy helped. I suppose I also just outgrew as I got older.

Sarah,

Why are you being so hostile? You're not drunk again are you!

Do you think it was all the speech thing? I think I have read that speech impediments are often grounded in some other deeper insecurity...

But more of this tomorrow, I hope, Flame. I am going to have to hit it, for tonight.

Years ago, I heard about thalidomide babies. I went to high school with one. I think I almost became one, but mom refused to let them give it to me.
As that happened in the `50's, and as I'm hearing that a LOT of "us" (TS/TG, etc.) are in our `50's and `60's, I HAVE to wonder if there was something in one of the vaccination shots we all got that has made us this way!! I KNOW there were some TS/TG's before the `50's, but we seem to be absolutely RAMPANT these days!!!! Ya can't swing a bra without hitting one!! When I was in high school, or just after that, I'd only ever heard of two people that had a sex change!! Christine Jorgenson and Walter/Wendy Carlos (Childe Harold, "Switched-On Bach"). In the last 30 years, our numbers have increased DRAMATICALLY!!!!

It has been suggested that this 'epidemic' is caused by DES (diethyl stilbestrol), a synthetic hormone which was routinely administered to countless millions of pregnant women worldwideover a forty year period starting in 1938 in the mistaken belief that it helped prevent miscarriage. Many if not most of the resulting DES sons and daughters are quite unaware of this. It has been alleged that the treatment resulted in a significant incidence of transgender effects in the sons as well as many other ill effects surfacing many years later, and still the subject of some ongoing lawsuits, and speculation as to its effects on the mothers and grandchildren as well as the sons and daughters.

I think I am more than a little "wet" still as a reaction to Lisa's last post...can't help it.

Oh goodie, nice to see I haven't lost my touch in how I affect beautiful women! Another wonderful benefit of being bigendered is the ability to communicate in a way that resonates in all kinds of wonderful ways with the female psyche! When a gg sees you as 'one of the girls,' you enter into a world unknown by the vast majority of BMs (NO, not that BM Sam, I mean Bio Males! )

One early morning thought I did have is that Lou has never hit on Lisa, or vice versa... but then again, I'm not from West Virginia...

If you are from West Va., That was a JOKE, please don't send Bubba and Billy Bob after me. But be warned, if you do, and they catch me, they definitely will return to WVA with a whole new outlook on life.

Okay, I'm a little giddy this morning, must be because we're having a SNOW DAY in South Carolina... Guess the 2nd coming is nigh upon us!

Okay, one more thing I need to get off of my chest (so the boobies will start soon...), when I look at my profile info on the left hand margin of the screen, it says "Junior Member." Well my sweets, not to boast, because I had absolutely nothing to do with it (thanks mom and dad), but one reason my bigender self is so very satisfied with her male side, is.... that.... there... ain't... nothin'... JUNIOR about my member. I kill me sometimes.

Love y'all..... mean it!

Why did you think you disliked yourself, Flame? Any elaboration on the insecurity?

I don't think there was a sole specific cause, but I did have a speech impediment while growing up. I was always so worried I would embarrass myself or that others would make fun of me for the way I talked. It was hard to see any good traits or qualities in myself. I saw myself as an unlikable person for lack of a better term.

I can relate to that, although i wasn't fully aware of the extent of the problem until later. I think it reflected a severe lack of self confidence in my ability and indeed in whether I deserved to be able to function as a male in in a male world, together with a high degree of self effacement so as to avoid being noticed, the main effect of which was to get me overlooked when I did want things or to be included in things. But it may have been hereditary. I suspect my mother had tha same problem when a young woman, only overcome when she succeeded in a relationship with my father; the stammer resurfaced in her nineties.

Okay, one more thing I need to get off of my chest (so the boobies will start soon...), when I look at my profile info on the left hand margin of the screen, it says "Junior Member." Well my sweets, not to boast, because I had absolutely nothing to do with it (thanks mom and dad), but one reason my bigender self is so very satisfied with her male side, is.... that.... there... ain't... nothin'... JUNIOR about my member. I kill me sometimes.

Love y'all..... mean it!

Ok......that thought may stick with Sammie all day...LOL
Ps - You had me at Gender Dysphoric Guild of Posers...LOL
Love you, too Sis. Stay warm.

You've come to the right place, Scotti. We are a family. If there ever was a group of souls who can understand and sympathize with your challenges, it's this diverse cadre of crossgendered, avatared, crazies that gather together here every day.

Clara Kay

Thanks Clara Kay! It is good to know that there is support out there, and from what I've seen here so far there's no need to look elsewhere.

Thats why I really, really like hugs.
That little kid is always, always still in there somewhere, and alone and frightened and not knowing what the fuck is going on. No matter how old we get.
But that kid understands a hug. A hug is good.
Hugs, Scotty, hugs, kid!

Yes, hugs are nice...thanks for the hug Samantha! And you are right, the child usually is not to blame, but always winds up being a pawn in a game they have little control over.

LOL, I used to play make-believe with my stuffed animals all the time! I didn't know it was considered feminine though. Oh well.

Yeah, one would think it wouldn't be. But when you watch how kids are raised, at an early age boys and girls are guided in what is considered masculine and feminine, especially in the toys they play with. Boys gets trucks and guns, girls get dolls and dress up stuff.

Another aspect of my gender dysphoria occurred to me this morning. It came together as I was thinking about you girls and how my interactions with you on this board have become an important facet of my life lately.

I've never been a particularly social person; introverted and a bit shy by nature, I guess. So, it surprised me that I was enjoying my discussions and banter with you folks so much. So I was asking myself -- Why is that?

I think I have an answer. When it comes to group social interactions, I tend to be anxious a lot. I'm especially that way in groups of men, and I often find ways of avoiding getting into men-only situations (aside from work, of course, which is no longer relevant for me). In a mixed sex social situation, I'll find myself being pulled into the women's circle. No anxiety for me there. I feel at home talking to women (as long as there are no sexual overtones present).

So here I am engaged in conversation with what on the surface appears to be a group of men (men with breasts well hidden ) and find it a comfortable place to be. Then, I realize, that nothing has changed at all. I'm still my old self seeking out the company of girls!

Hugs all around,

Clara Kay