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06-12-2013, 12:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-12-2013, 01:19 PM by
spanky (aka Lola).)
Julie -
You have kicked off a very interesting thread, with a lot of candor. I had an interesting event about 10 days ago. My daughter got in a pretty serious jam of the legal variety. My father mode kicked in after about a nano-second and ALL desire for NBE and to cross-dress evaporated. It all felt foreign, self-centered, and distracting from the pressing issues at hand. I am still in a kind of limbo, so I cut PM back to minimum and hope to sort it out with time.
I agree with those who have encouraged you to stay in touch. Take it slowly and don't be hard on yourself. Life is a maze and we cannot know if we will ever find the cheese.
spanky
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Spanky
ah yes indeed
and the thread has 5 stars to
Yey
Julie
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06-12-2013, 08:58 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-12-2013, 08:59 PM by
interbingung.)
In my case the girly thought, desire to transition is sexualy driven (testosterone driven). The PM reduce T level, this explain why the desire decrease. Because this desire is so strong and I have been thinking about it since most of my live it become deeply rooted to become my identity so that even though the desire is decreasing, the thought can still continue going on.
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(06-12-2013, 11:40 AM)julieTG Wrote: Pansy
could be but the switch was INSTANT
and have been on lower doses last 2 weeks
J
Julie,
From the way you speak generally, it seems to me that everything you do is 100% flat out in whichever direction you are pointing ( not just NBE)? - that isn't a criticism, merely an observation.
Now that isn't a way of life that I can really relate to, I rarely get worked up about anything, I'm very much a middle-of-the-road guy/girl in everything and avoid confrontation like the plague. However I did have one 'instant switch' situation in my CD days and there have been other rapid stops, in each case hindsight has allowed me to look back and see that a fairly traumatic unrelated external event happened at the same time. Which is similar to what Spanky has said above.
Just a thought for the pot.
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Pansy
Absolutely agree with you , it is indeed 100% with me
Absolutely all or nothing
It gets me where I am in life , but then again also provides a lot of confrontation
So I am trying to mellow
Julie
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As winter is ever so slowly receding I'm finding my desire to grow breast and feminized my body diminishing. Maybe it's all the physical activity of shoveling out every few days. I say this now, but almost without fail Jessica returns front and center every Autumn. Maybe this is how I deal with SAD? I don't know.
That being said two days ago I painted my toenails (pink glitter and a clear coat on the smaller four and just clear polish on the large toe) and I have no plans on stopping to shave most of my body hair away. Heck, I've been doing that for almost 20 years. And I'll continue to wear my Hanes sport bras until its t-shirt weather. I also continue to keep up with the micro amounts of PM, and the macro amounts of SP I've been taking. Maybe after nearly 3 months my body chemistry is finding the right balance.
Still, I'll be reading and posting my 2 cents time to time.
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Jessica,
You need to follow what is in your heart and keep it there . That is were your true self image is.
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Jessica, love you honey...but I bet she will be back. We all go through these ins and outs. Speaking just for myself, though, Sammie has only become steadily more and more demanding each time she has returned. Tee hee. Now I just let her stick around all the time. It keeps her in a MUCH better mood (demanding wench that she can be...LOL)
Best of luck, honey!
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(16-02-2014, 04:15 PM)Jessica Leigh Wrote: As winter is ever so slowly receding I'm finding my desire to grow breast and feminized my body diminishing. Maybe it's all the physical activity of shoveling out every few days. I say this now, but almost without fail Jessica returns front and center every Autumn. Maybe this is how I deal with SAD? I don't know.
That being said two days ago I painted my toenails (pink glitter and a clear coat on the smaller four and just clear polish on the large toe) and I have no plans on stopping to shave most of my body hair away. Heck, I've been doing that for almost 20 years. And I'll continue to wear my Hanes sport bras until its t-shirt weather. I also continue to keep up with the micro amounts of PM, and the macro amounts of SP I've been taking. Maybe after nearly 3 months my body chemistry is finding the right balance.
Still, I'll be reading and posting my 2 cents time to time.
this is from my personal observation of myself . this during the period i had so many balls juggling at same time and working 14 - 16 hr day . i remember than my stress levels were very high and had many stress related illnesses . that is when i started wearing corsets nad panties and somehow it eased my stress a bit . so i wonder if stress kick in some hormones to wake up our feminine side !!
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I am certain that is a factor, MB.
