I cannot think of a good way to post this so please bear with me. I usually desire to become a female. There is only one time when I loose this desire and am content as a male, that is right about "private time". Does anyone know why this happens? Is it a hormone problem? Could all of my desires be a cause of an imbalance that could easily be fixed? Would taking the herbs etc. on here be a bad idea then? I should add, this is nothing new, it has been this way for years. I have not taken anything yet.

Hi honey, your desire to be more female or develop breasts could be part of a sexual fantasy that you are quite unaware of and you could be mixing this fantasy with actually being transgender, it is common and makes it essential that you see a specialist. The last thing you want to do is grow breasts and realise its not what you want. When you masturbate it relieves that urge to be female as you have got rid of the sexual part of your fantasy. There is a term for someone who gets sexually excited about being feminized and is becoming more well known in the medical community now, try googling it, the term is autogynephilia, see if that helps you hun, in the mean time go and see a doctor and see if you can get the help you want, i know its nerve racking and scary but trust me its the best thing to do hun

Hugs Cheryl xxxx

Hi honey, your desire to be more female or develop breasts could be part of a sexual fantasy that you are quite unaware of and you could be mixing this fantasy with actually being transgender, it is common and makes it essential that you see a specialist. The last thing you want to do is grow breasts and realise its not what you want. When you masturbate it relieves that urge to be female as you have got rid of the sexual part of your fantasy. There is a term for someone who gets sexually excited about being feminized and is becoming more well known in the medical community now, try googling it, the term is autogynephilia, see if that helps you hun, in the mean time go and see a doctor and see if you can get the help you want, i know its nerve racking and scary but trust me its the best thing to do hun

Hugs Cheryl xxxx

You are so right Cheryl,
There is a time when one questions themselves like this. I know I did until I found the feelings to be true and wanted it 24/7 regardless of sexual urges. The need to feminize for me by growing breasts was a decision I never regretted. I have heard of those who discovered it was the wrong choice after transition was made. It's better to be sure!
Bianca

Hi there, new member here. I believe Blanchard's coining of the term autogynephilia and his definition of it, i.e., "...as a male’s propensity to be erotically aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman." actually only describes part of the psycho-sexual dynamic.

As a bisexual male exploring more and more of his inner feminine characteristics, I would say that my imagining myself as a passive woman during intercourse with a man (and I don't perceive myself in any way as being 'gay'), is part of the essential sexual and erotic enjoyment. I am not confused, I am very mentally healthy and enjoy sex with men. When I am with a woman, I am wholly masculine, and not thinking about myself as a woman.

I was born male, and grew to be an adult male, and I have enjoyed a healthy sex life. I am not promiscuous, never have been, but as I have become older, I have also become more passive in my psychology, and want to have more sex with men: not as a gay man, but as a feminized male, because that fits in with my enjoyment of the sex, and my sense of its fulfillment, and the satisfaction received.

Of course, being more pliantly passive, one could suggest that I like to experience elements of male domination in terms of being a receiver, and that might ring true. Yet, I really do like imagining and acting out my side of the sex encounter with a man as if I were a woman.

I already have small, but naturally formed breasts, and want to grow them bigger...which is why I have come to this forum (and that of Cheryl's) to do research and to get advice. I don't want to go full transition, but I do want to feminize enough so that I can half match my physical appearance to that of my imaginings. I want to be able to wear female clothing, and should an encounter arise, to be seduced as a woman.

I do not doubt that there are men, when making love to a woman, gain psychological eroticism by sympathetically immersing themselves into the position of the woman, but sex is a process of habituation, where repetition ingrains sexual triggers, more so and especially at the early formative years. Such repetitive psycho-sexual imaginings may over time become the 'normal' response mechanism to gaining enjoyment of sex with a woman.

I would also like to add that autogynephilia cascades echoes of Venus envy.

Do your desires to be more feminine go away immediately after your private time? If so then it's most likely like Cheryl said. If your desires go away before or during then it might be something else.

If you are transexual, you will have wanted to ge a girl, from the time of your earliest memories of introspective thought. It has been argued that being sexualy aroused by the idea of being female, meant you were not TS. However a quick trawl through internet blogs will soon lay that one to rest. The problem is that tostesterone is such a powerfull driver, that you can use it to hide from the reality of who you are.

To see a specialist is sound advice, or even just finding someone to talk about it with.

I think I know what you feel, before taking PM after happy time would imediately remove all my female clothes thinking I won't ever need those again, but of course always did.

Only after growing a set of small boobs those feelings left and was quite happy to still feel girly after happy time. Thinking that the next progression was to let a man do those things I had been imagining, had it all figured out...I didnt!

Met somebody here who knows a vast amount about sexuality she could be a therapist. Talked a lot developing a strong bond of friendship  and she helped me realise I will die a virgin, no way is a penis getting anywhere near me let alone getting inside. I had only figured out that I wanted my body to be feminine wearing female clothes.

you can imagine naughty thoughts without the desire to make it become reality

It is very confusing, probably too confusing to work it out without help.

I was lucky to get that and stop me from making the mistake of my life.

But yes, it's like fighting with yourself until you get it worked out and that's difficult to do alone

Great thread and spot on. If you are diff mentally after alone time to be tasteful.. and you are like what the hell? Could be more sex fantasy etc to a point but it is a state of mind more than not, yep see someone I would say to to get help. it can get worse IMOP.

But I was there too, and PM somehow I think re-wires or E in general. Now I am leaning more towards Female than male and am starting to look the part regardless how I dress. Then many of us seem to start wanting breast, then it gets more and sometimes more to fast or than you wanted. Hard to go back to a point too and take not much to break the balance of E to T ratios and it affects the mind a lot to I find, maybe more than even the body? But you could go on T and reverse a lot of stuff, but boobs are permanent to a point... bud a lot and B cup+ ... well you know hard to hide and you own the girls....

So be careful you may get decent breast, but then you may get to much other female parts.. legs, belly face etc.

Many times it is this quote.

"Slippery Slope"

Great thread and spot on. If you are diff mentally after alone time to be tasteful.. and you are like what the hell? Could be more sex fantasy etc to a point but it is a state of mind more than not, yep see someone I would say to to get help. it can get worse IMOP.

But I was there too, and PM somehow I think re-wires or E in general. Now I am leaning more towards Female than male and am starting to look the part regardless how I dress. Then many of us seem to start wanting breast, then it gets more and sometimes more to fast or than you wanted. Hard to go back to a point too and take not much to break the balance of E to T ratios and it affects the mind a lot to I find, maybe more than even the body? But you could go on T and reverse a lot of stuff, but boobs are permanent to a point... bud a lot and B cup+ ... well you know hard to hide and you own the girls....

So be careful you may get decent breast, but then you may get to much other female parts.. legs, belly face etc.

Many times it is this quote.

"Slippery Slope"

I remember reading your thread about this a few months ago when I first started reading this forum. You seemed at the time to have been a bit unnerved by how rapid things had changed for you. May I as what you have been doing since then (September?) and how things have changed for you in that time?

Thanks!