(27-11-2025, 04:27 PM)Sullaria007 Wrote: Just curious as to how your experiences with other people have changed as your body has feminized?
My biggest fear in transition is reaching a point where I'm obviously not a cis male and whether that will cause people to reject me or be mean to me. I live in a blue-leaning purple US state, so most people are at least neutral (in public) to trans people but still I worry.
I'd love to have more platonically intimate, female-coded friendships with women. But do ciswomen really accept transwomen as one of their own or is there always gonna be a disconnect?
Losing male privilege/ "default" "neutral" embodiment in public also kind of scares me, just because I'm pretty sensitive person in general and I kind of like being able to exist in public under-the-radar but I know with visible boobs and other feminization that won't be possible.
The awkward obviously visible "in between" phase absolutely sucks. Even in a mundanely safe Finland, of maybe perhaps especially here because people tow the line, being visibly "different" is frowned upon. Don't rock the boat etc. For me that phase was fairly short, it went from obvious to plausible deniability very fast, latter phase was strange because I never knew who clocked me and who didn't and those who seemed to, did they really? Note that this was the phase in which I was subjected to sexual abuse and coercion etc. Trans women are in hugely exaggerated danger of being abused and raped, its not a joke.
But you can bet that most of the time, most people in public will not do or say anything, they mostly will just stare or nothing obvious at all. Most will treat you ok, but that does not mean they have any sort of acceptance or understanding in them. Most people don't understand, nor truly accept us as women. To them we're at best, a weird third sex something, at worst a Satan's pawns ready to corrupt the world.
Cis women are far more accepting of us than cis men. Your chances of finding platonic deep friendship with cis women is quite likely to happen and further you go, easier this connection becomes. Most women will understand a lot about your experience, further you go, more of your life you gain experience from living in the social role of a woman, more understandingthose around you will become. It gets only better as you keep on going. You will also face obnoxious rejection and transphobia from cis women, but very likely also a lot of kinship and friends.
Losing your male privilege is the price you pay for this and its not a joke either. It can become even depressing at times when you notice things wont work the same, you will not be taken granted like before, you'll get talked over, mansplained, seen as a lesser being... More often a side character than center of the stage. Get used to it and fight for your right to have your voice heard. Its not easy to be a woman, this is not some made up feminist bs, it is the reality. Your social status will not be the same any more. Unless, unless you get to the point of becoming attractive enough because that is social currency. Even if you're "older than" what ever. Curves are power, being pretty is power, that gets people to notice you and suddenly you're taken more seriously again and treated better. Its ridiculously shallow, but that's how people function. Note that a lot of men get awkward or feel intimidated when facing a beautiful woman, especially if she's also intelligent and ready to speak her mind.
Why not aim for being "under the radar" as a woman? Becoming so called passable isn't as difficult as its made to seem like. Its all about getting enough details right, perrception of sex traits is like playing bingo, everyone has a bit of different mix of details and once they line uop, you pass for a cis woman and no one bats an eye about you.
Its not easy existence, there are no short cuts, unless you're rich as fuck and buy your way with surgeries. We're really low on social ladder no matter what. But its all very much doable, it gets easier as you go further, work your ass off as it comes with rewards. Things get easier. First few yeears might be really awkward but that's kinda how it goes.
