01-11-2022, 05:29 PM
@owlie Ah sorry the update wasn't there for this morning, I've been typing it up on and off and needed to update the timeline and thank you but it was a very difficult time but I'm doing far better both mentally and physically. I do think the opening post was done before the forum got updated 
Ok so what have I been up to well.... I've been overwhelmed lately by my family to the point I poisoned myself quite badly, you see I look after my nan every week doing her housework and sorting out shopping doing appointments and I do that also for my own home, so I'm like a little maid right now for two households...
In truth I was so overworked I got a migraine and ate in the dark, you see we also have a new oven and being a fan electric I was unsure of how long it would take to cook chicken with a season in a bag...... 35mins at 210c is what it said I did 30mins at 190c long story short, I ate it while it was purely raw and I mean deep pink in the dark. I only started to realise when I choked.... I mean I was so worn out I wasn't even thinking straight whatsoever then realising I just ate half of a Chicken leg that's raw all over I knew I fudged up. Being food poisoned has been where I've spent the last 14 days being sick and paying the toilet many visits.... thankfully I haven't caught anything like salmonella being UK flock so I'm safe at least. I'm feeling better but sometimes I have indigestion and only in the past couple of days am I feeling better.
Ever onwards
So my journey continues towards my original goal of GG but as I said recently my goal has changed, it's not about a size it's about defeating dysphoria though I think I am ontrack for that this Christmas I'm not sure if happiness will lay there for me. I feel like I'm around halfway to being happy, dysphoria is a unique beast for us Transpeep's because it's this nagging thing in our lives that tricks us and makes us do things that are hard to explain. Right now I look in a mirror and I don't see the girl that is a "g" far from it, it is much smaller in my mind. This is but one of the tricks dysphoria has and it's not nice at all. Let alone visual appearance on my face, I deal with a lot of crippling dysphoria and it's just plain horrible I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Enough fluff and something more positive last time I measured 1600.67cc about 20ccs into a "G" cup so a "little g" lol. So where am I this time well... for sometime I've continued to slow down in fact but a pattern might be emerging its likely too early to tell but I've returned to my original speed with the introduction last week with tinctures. I've gained 120cc in 14 days so I'm now at 1720.83 having to once again bugged our and especially my dearest Lara to find out what all this means so that little "g" has become a bigger "G" yay! About half way through in reality. This is a 7.51% increase similar to a earlier record. What's interesting about this is that I'm getting such a jump still at this stage to experience another ramp up would be quite interesting.... could I break a 200cc record for 14 days? I have no idea but I've been close once lol
Below you'll find my images, and gosh is it getting harder to keep them aligned, I tried and my boobs are going out of the frame so to keep it sort of consistent you can see my face/neck slowly vanishing out of the frame LOL. But I hope the new frontal shows some serious progress as I have to lean away from the camera too slightly lol
Am I on track for a GG for Christmas? Maybe let's not jinx it shall we, I still have a growth window to deal with and I think NBE is the key to shattering it. Below is an optional read but if you want to go feel free and skip to the images and timeline update which reminds me I should post over there shouldn't I or should I save it for GG hehe 
A festive break
So at this point I must say something I've been thinking about for quite awhile now, I've done a lot this year, I went full time as me. I did my vocal training and done all the legality and documentation towards being me Melissa and even went to TransPride 2022 down in Brighton. Yet I'll be honest I'm quite worn out by everything, winter and the earlier darker hours do make me feel quite depressed and dysphoric. I have quite a few moments of Trauma around this time of year and I feel so badly needing isolation and alone time to consume the events of the year. So with that announcement I'll be taking a hiatus until Christmas and then another break into the new year. I'll pop in and share my blood results but nothing other than that as the best way for me to deal with some darkness is some serious alone time.
I will not be stopping NBE but more doing it in private for the next few months though my back would likely want a break from all this growth in such a short time but its not a time for that
I don't want to give it up hell it will make guessing if I accomplish GG by Christmas that much more interesting. So without further ado I'll be going on hiatus around the 9th when I post my blood results until the 27th December or a little before who knows hehe. As I need sometime to nurture my mind and heal somewhat.
Know I love you all but I need this ^-^
Ok so what have I been up to well.... I've been overwhelmed lately by my family to the point I poisoned myself quite badly, you see I look after my nan every week doing her housework and sorting out shopping doing appointments and I do that also for my own home, so I'm like a little maid right now for two households...
In truth I was so overworked I got a migraine and ate in the dark, you see we also have a new oven and being a fan electric I was unsure of how long it would take to cook chicken with a season in a bag...... 35mins at 210c is what it said I did 30mins at 190c long story short, I ate it while it was purely raw and I mean deep pink in the dark. I only started to realise when I choked.... I mean I was so worn out I wasn't even thinking straight whatsoever then realising I just ate half of a Chicken leg that's raw all over I knew I fudged up. Being food poisoned has been where I've spent the last 14 days being sick and paying the toilet many visits.... thankfully I haven't caught anything like salmonella being UK flock so I'm safe at least. I'm feeling better but sometimes I have indigestion and only in the past couple of days am I feeling better.Ever onwards
So my journey continues towards my original goal of GG but as I said recently my goal has changed, it's not about a size it's about defeating dysphoria though I think I am ontrack for that this Christmas I'm not sure if happiness will lay there for me. I feel like I'm around halfway to being happy, dysphoria is a unique beast for us Transpeep's because it's this nagging thing in our lives that tricks us and makes us do things that are hard to explain. Right now I look in a mirror and I don't see the girl that is a "g" far from it, it is much smaller in my mind. This is but one of the tricks dysphoria has and it's not nice at all. Let alone visual appearance on my face, I deal with a lot of crippling dysphoria and it's just plain horrible I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Enough fluff and something more positive last time I measured 1600.67cc about 20ccs into a "G" cup so a "little g" lol. So where am I this time well... for sometime I've continued to slow down in fact but a pattern might be emerging its likely too early to tell but I've returned to my original speed with the introduction last week with tinctures. I've gained 120cc in 14 days so I'm now at 1720.83 having to once again bugged our and especially my dearest Lara to find out what all this means so that little "g" has become a bigger "G" yay! About half way through in reality. This is a 7.51% increase similar to a earlier record. What's interesting about this is that I'm getting such a jump still at this stage to experience another ramp up would be quite interesting.... could I break a 200cc record for 14 days? I have no idea but I've been close once lol
Below you'll find my images, and gosh is it getting harder to keep them aligned, I tried and my boobs are going out of the frame so to keep it sort of consistent you can see my face/neck slowly vanishing out of the frame LOL. But I hope the new frontal shows some serious progress as I have to lean away from the camera too slightly lol
Am I on track for a GG for Christmas? Maybe let's not jinx it shall we, I still have a growth window to deal with and I think NBE is the key to shattering it.
Below is an optional read but if you want to go feel free and skip to the images and timeline update which reminds me I should post over there shouldn't I or should I save it for GG hehe A festive break
So at this point I must say something I've been thinking about for quite awhile now, I've done a lot this year, I went full time as me. I did my vocal training and done all the legality and documentation towards being me Melissa and even went to TransPride 2022 down in Brighton. Yet I'll be honest I'm quite worn out by everything, winter and the earlier darker hours do make me feel quite depressed and dysphoric. I have quite a few moments of Trauma around this time of year and I feel so badly needing isolation and alone time to consume the events of the year. So with that announcement I'll be taking a hiatus until Christmas and then another break into the new year. I'll pop in and share my blood results but nothing other than that as the best way for me to deal with some darkness is some serious alone time.
I will not be stopping NBE but more doing it in private for the next few months though my back would likely want a break from all this growth in such a short time but its not a time for that
I don't want to give it up hell it will make guessing if I accomplish GG by Christmas that much more interesting. So without further ado I'll be going on hiatus around the 9th when I post my blood results until the 27th December or a little before who knows hehe. As I need sometime to nurture my mind and heal somewhat.Know I love you all but I need this ^-^
, about my stage of my transition I'm just under 3 years working HRT and under 4 if you count my chaotic first year with abysmal levels. Feel free to ask me any question any time, even with me going on a break I'll be sure to answer too 
