Hope you find a place to stay elain

So do I but if worse comes to worse, I'll put my stuff in storage, keep my tent and sleeping bag out and do some camping out for a month or two till I have enough cash set aside to get my own place.

It just makes everything more difficult for me, which is exactly what my brother intends. It's his way of punishing me for not moving with them. It's this kind of behavior from my family that caused me to have no contact with them for 20 years. Guess i should have just kept that going instead of breaking it. There won't be a third chance though.

~E

Sadly its a case of "you cant pick your family"
Mine too have done irrepairable damage although a mense has been made in latter years.

Sounds like you have been screwed over royally based on the above.
I hope the best for you though. Life is trying at times

Hope you find a place to stay elain

So do I but if worse comes to worse, I'll put my stuff in storage, keep my tent and sleeping bag out and do some camping out for a month or two till I have enough cash set aside to get my own place.

It just makes everything more difficult for me, which is exactly what my brother intends. It's his way of punishing me for not moving with them. It's this kind of behavior from my family that caused me to have no contact with them for 20 years. Guess i should have just kept that going instead of breaking it. There won't be a third chance though.

~E

Sadly its a case of "you cant pick your family"
Mine too have done irrepairable damage although a mense has been made in latter years.

Sounds like you have been screwed over royally based on the above.
I hope the best for you though. Life is trying at times

*chuckles* I have def been screwed over royally, but it's kinda par for the course with my family so I've expected 'something' to fall down the chute eventually. I just wasn't expecting THIS type of thing. In general it often seems I just get my feet under me and something comes along to kick them out from under me again. I'm stubborn though. I just keep getting back up and trying even harder. What's that Chumbawumba song.. I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nothin gonna keep me down...

~E

Hope you find a place to stay elain

So do I but if worse comes to worse, I'll put my stuff in storage, keep my tent and sleeping bag out and do some camping out for a month or two till I have enough cash set aside to get my own place.

It just makes everything more difficult for me, which is exactly what my brother intends. It's his way of punishing me for not moving with them. It's this kind of behavior from my family that caused me to have no contact with them for 20 years. Guess i should have just kept that going instead of breaking it. There won't be a third chance though.

~E

Sadly its a case of "you cant pick your family"
Mine too have done irrepairable damage although a mense has been made in latter years.

Sounds like you have been screwed over royally based on the above.
I hope the best for you though. Life is trying at times

*chuckles* I have def been screwed over royally, but it's kinda par for the course with my family so I've expected 'something' to fall down the chute eventually. I just wasn't expecting THIS type of thing. In general it often seems I just get my feet under me and something comes along to kick them out from under me again. I'm stubborn though. I just keep getting back up and trying even harder. What's that Chumbawumba song.. I get knocked down, but I get up again, ain't nothin gonna keep me down...

~E

Love that song! And thats the spirit!

Well things are moving along medically. I now have a referral to the specialist in Portland for the MAC Infection (no appointment yet). I know they are going to push me to only take the meds (for a year), while I am going to push them to do a lung resection and a shorter course of meds (6 months). It's going to be a contest of wills and one I intend to win. My argument will be simple. My way or no way. And then walk out if they refuse to accept my terms.

This is after all my body. I'll accept only the treatment I personally feel is in my best interest based on my now insanely extensive research into this disease and no other options will be considered. If they don't like it, then they can piss off and I'll go about my life w/o their input as I normally do. Yes.. I am a difficult patient because I do my research. I question and I challenge my doctors and don't take their smarmy 'I'm the doctor' attitude as the end all and be all of the universe.

~Elain

I am insanely nervous. Monday I go see my new PCP. She is knowledgeable about Transgender issues and care and I hope she will help me along my path. I'm struggling very hard with my GD even with the herbals I am now taking. I am reaching the end of my rope so to speak where it is concerned. I just can't stand to continue like this much longer. I look down at myself and I hate what I see. I hate everything about my male anatomy. I'm feeling like I am crumbling while trying desperately to hold on to the hope that this will soon be over and I can really start up the road that will lead me to me.

~E

*Update*

My visit with my new doctor went very well. Not as well as I had hoped, much better than my previous doctor though and well enough that I am strongly encouraged. She didn't give me a prescription for Finasteride but she did give me a low level script for Spironolactone (25mg) to start with and see how my body responds and reacts to it. With the Spironolactone I can begin to medically lower my testosterone levels and that will allow the herbals I am taking to be more effective. It's a start and like I said while it isn't as much as I had hoped for, it is much better than I had before.

~Elain

My new Doctor and her office are awesome! I just logged into the patient portal to add and update some information and when I clicked over to personal information I was greeted by my sex being listed as female rather than male. Her and her office didn't mis-gender me. That means a lot to me even if it is just one small thing. I actually teared up when I saw that. It was so nice to be recognized in such a simple manner.

~Elain

Attached Files

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*Update 2 for the day*

I got my own place now! All the stress and worry about finding a place before my brother moves is gone! *dances happily*.

~E

*Update 2 for the day*

I got my own place now! All the stress and worry about finding a place before my brother moves is gone! *dances happily*.

~E

good shit! go you

*Update 2 for the day*

I got my own place now! All the stress and worry about finding a place before my brother moves is gone! *dances happily*.

~E

good shit! go you

I am moving in this afternoon. I won't have Internet until sometime tomorrow. It's a huge place. 1 bedroom apartment, has dining room, living room, computer nook (really a large walk in storage area but perfect as my new computer room). MASSIVE amounts of storage space. Kinda a small narrow bathroom but has a tub so I get to do my lavender oil soaks *yippie*. Kitchen is also kinda small but it has a lot of cupboard space. I need curtains and it's going to be very empty looking for a while as the only furniture I have is my bed and my computer chair but even so... It's so much larger than I expected and I was really hoping to get it. My landlady is really sweet as well so I know we will get along great.

I am getting the electric turned on today. And my Internet will be turned on tomorrow. All my stress and worry is relieved. :-)

~Elain