After seeing a physiologist several times she recommended me to talk to my dr about hrt. I have had two appointments with my dr and he has decided to refer me to the TG clinic in the city to help me further my dreams. He has been wonderful through all this told me there was nothing wrong with me and that I need to make myself happy. I am very excited to go to the clinic just have to wait for the call to book my appt, so hard to wait right now but i guess I have all the time in the world. To top things all off my wife told me today that even though she still is having a hard time with all this she is pretty sure she will stay with me, even if she says that she is going to leave from time to time when she is particularly upset about all this. She has told me that she felt that she has been threatening to leave me and divorce me since I told her and she is still here there must be something important keeping me here, and she told me she still loves me very much just that she is having a hard time seeing me the same way again.
Cautiously optimistic
Andrea
Cautiously optimistic
Andrea
Andrea,
If you are going to transition to even a partial cross gender role and presentation, it is important to understand that your wife is also going to transition in her own way. The most helpful thing you can do to ease that process is to get her talking to other wives of transgenders who have come to accept their mate's needs. Much of the difficulty that wives have in accepting the feminine in you is the fear of being rejected, ridiculed, and isolated from relatives, friends and community. Your wife needs acceptance and support just as much as you do. Building a fallback network of TG friendly friends is very helpful. I think it's even more helpful than seeing a psychologist/therapist. There are other factors, of course. But, I think the changes in your sex life, for example, can be worked out in time. Our society is starting to become more aware of trans people and less likely to automatically condemn them. That trend should continue. I'm not trying to belittle the difficulties that lie ahead, but rather give hope that there is a brighter day ahead. Transition can work out within a traditional marriage if both partners' feelings and needs are attended to with honest effort and complete trust.
Hugs,
Clara
If you are going to transition to even a partial cross gender role and presentation, it is important to understand that your wife is also going to transition in her own way. The most helpful thing you can do to ease that process is to get her talking to other wives of transgenders who have come to accept their mate's needs. Much of the difficulty that wives have in accepting the feminine in you is the fear of being rejected, ridiculed, and isolated from relatives, friends and community. Your wife needs acceptance and support just as much as you do. Building a fallback network of TG friendly friends is very helpful. I think it's even more helpful than seeing a psychologist/therapist. There are other factors, of course. But, I think the changes in your sex life, for example, can be worked out in time. Our society is starting to become more aware of trans people and less likely to automatically condemn them. That trend should continue. I'm not trying to belittle the difficulties that lie ahead, but rather give hope that there is a brighter day ahead. Transition can work out within a traditional marriage if both partners' feelings and needs are attended to with honest effort and complete trust.
Hugs,
Clara
This post was last modified: 22-08-2014, 03:35 PM by GoneGirl.
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