[pom19]

In the past, if I cross dressed, the moment after orgasm, I shed the bra, panties, and hose as quickly as I could, and wondered what in the world I was thinking of. That was not my female side reacting. It was my male side retaking control and disavowing the existence of my female identity

LOL, I used to be the same way....although I was never addicted to sex or anything. I would masturbate once a week or less.

It never felt like a "male" side taking control afterwards though. More like an overwhelming feeling of guilt that I was doing something wrong. I honestly wanted to stay dressed though, so I also felt guilty for abandoning them so quickly after climax.

It was actually a pretty fucked up ritual, even aside from societal connotations. To dress up, sexually abuse who I really was, then cast it all aside with disgust...if that is my male side, then fuck him! Although, personally I consider it to be a faux persona assembled to attempt to fit into what was expected of me.

Well Sarah, since sex is such a complex and obscure subject, I don't think you did anything wrong. It is all about growth, cheer up.