[GoneGirl]

Clara, just a quick point about the "sex addiction"/masterbation aspect, and the relation to gender issues. When I was heavily engaged in porn/mastertbation, it was always worst when I was in a long stretch where I had no opportunity to dress. The greater the opportunity I had to spend time en femme, the less the need to engage in the other activities. I realize you were not yet cognizant of these aspects of yourself at that time, but do you think the compulsion toward porn etc that some of us went thru was a way to compensate for thwarted or unacknowledged tg impulses? Seems to make sense to me.
Oh, and sorry for carrying Patti's comments off on that long tangent...hee hee.
Hugs

Absolutely, Sammie, I truly believe it is societal and self-imposed suppression of our TG nature that causes us to find ways of satisfying a subconscious need to express our feminine side. Cross dressing, porn/masturbation, erotic literature, etc. are ways that many of us have depended on to satisfy this need. I found cross dressing erotically arousing, but impractical from a logistics standpoint, so cross dreaming augmented by visual images of, and fantasizing about being, my ideal woman, along with orgasm through masturbation was my chosen way to cope with, and temporarily satisfy, my TG condition. My inability to enjoy sex as a normal man was also a major indication of my subconscious female identity.

But, I have to say that my cross dressing today has NOTHING to do with eroticism or satisfying a sexual need. It is purely an expression of my wanting to feel feminine. There's no longer a need to achieve orgasm at the conclusion of a cross dressing session. In the past, if I cross dressed, the moment after orgasm, I shed the bra, panties, and hose as quickly as I could, and wondered what in the world I was thinking of. That was not my female side reacting. It was my male side retaking control and disavowing the existence of my female identity

I do agree with you that when one's TG needs are satisfied through appropriate, honest expression in an atmosphere of freedom and acceptance, the former ways of relieving the anxiety and stress surrounding one's suppressed gender sense are no longer important, and are abandoned. That is clearly where I'm at today.

That, plus the lowering of my T-levels, have resulted in a new sexuality which is both pleasurable, satisfying, and mentally healthy.

Thanks, Sammie, for highlighting that point. It is a critical aspect of the journey of self-discovery that you, I, and many others here are pursuing.

Clara