27-01-2014, 04:36 AM
CK,
Thanks for starting this thread. So I'm writing this as I a watching the Grammy's. Some great performances tonight.
I new I was different from other boys in first grade. That is when I started wishing I could "change my skin" and be like my sister. I was shaving my legs and under arms I high school during the winter when I could hide my bare legs in sweat pants in gym class. And of course I tried on my sis's underwear and ma's bras when I was fortunate to be home alone.
In college I tried to be like the other guys; joined a Fraternity, dated, enjoyed lots of cannabis. But my cross dressing desires increased with every semester. I used Haloween as a chance to dress but also shaped my brows and wore make up.
Paul and Ringo are on now. That was cool.
This is also when I really started being envious of the way college girls could dress, flirt, and dance at clubs. And I really wanted breast and how it must feel like as a woman during sex. Also the first time I considered living full time as a woman but ended up not going down that road.
Fast forward 15+ years, 3 wardrobe purges, marriage and two kids, and now I am here. My fear is that the future my wife sees of us is looking less and less like future I see for us. My hope is that our love for each other and for our children will be strong enough to withstand whatever the future brings...
The meaning of Pearl Jam's song 'Sirens" is really hitting me. If you don't know it or can't understand Vedder's voice read the lyrics. Especially if you are in a relationship.
Back to my story. I have been taking SP and a very low dose of PM found at the Vitamin Shoppe. I don't know if it is doing anything to 1. Grow breast 2. Ease my GID but I'm afraid to bring up taking a substance used primarily for breast growth with my wife. And boobs on guys in my current line of work... Just doesnt work.
I am going to talk to her again about laser treatments for my beard in March. Not for treatments starting then, but starting in the fall. Give her a chance to come to grips with this a little more. My thoughts today is that maybe transition happens when the kids are out of the house... Maybe not. Very difficult.
Oh, I do see a therapist and this group is great. I left a lot out but it's in other post.
Daft Punk and Stevie Wonder... awesome.
Peace and love all.
Thanks for starting this thread. So I'm writing this as I a watching the Grammy's. Some great performances tonight.
I new I was different from other boys in first grade. That is when I started wishing I could "change my skin" and be like my sister. I was shaving my legs and under arms I high school during the winter when I could hide my bare legs in sweat pants in gym class. And of course I tried on my sis's underwear and ma's bras when I was fortunate to be home alone.
In college I tried to be like the other guys; joined a Fraternity, dated, enjoyed lots of cannabis. But my cross dressing desires increased with every semester. I used Haloween as a chance to dress but also shaped my brows and wore make up.
Paul and Ringo are on now. That was cool.
This is also when I really started being envious of the way college girls could dress, flirt, and dance at clubs. And I really wanted breast and how it must feel like as a woman during sex. Also the first time I considered living full time as a woman but ended up not going down that road.
Fast forward 15+ years, 3 wardrobe purges, marriage and two kids, and now I am here. My fear is that the future my wife sees of us is looking less and less like future I see for us. My hope is that our love for each other and for our children will be strong enough to withstand whatever the future brings...
The meaning of Pearl Jam's song 'Sirens" is really hitting me. If you don't know it or can't understand Vedder's voice read the lyrics. Especially if you are in a relationship.
Back to my story. I have been taking SP and a very low dose of PM found at the Vitamin Shoppe. I don't know if it is doing anything to 1. Grow breast 2. Ease my GID but I'm afraid to bring up taking a substance used primarily for breast growth with my wife. And boobs on guys in my current line of work... Just doesnt work.
I am going to talk to her again about laser treatments for my beard in March. Not for treatments starting then, but starting in the fall. Give her a chance to come to grips with this a little more. My thoughts today is that maybe transition happens when the kids are out of the house... Maybe not. Very difficult.
Oh, I do see a therapist and this group is great. I left a lot out but it's in other post.
Daft Punk and Stevie Wonder... awesome.
Peace and love all.