25-01-2014, 08:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 26-01-2014, 04:41 AM by Samantha Rogers.)
Hee hee...Clara you always write so beautifully and thoughtfully, and crass Sammie comes along and mucks it all up...
Let me see if I can avoid that, this time.
Quite honestly, I am amazed how often things said by you and Lisa express exactly feelings or sentiments I might have enunciated myself. For three people of such diverse backgrounds, it is really wonderful how much there is in common among we three (and likely many more)
This also might better be placed in a different thread, but here goes...
Lisa, you spoke of the women in your life. I only had the one. My mother. My folks split up when I was about 6. I grew up with my mother, a strong but very loving woman, and with my older brother forced into the role of surrogate father for me. Searching for a feminine role, for me, as with many, goes back to childhood. Whenever I delve into these memories I can immediately hear the Freudians beginning to clack away. LOL You see my mother worked and there were always hours in the afternoon when my brother was out and she was not home yet, and little Sammie was being born. My suspicion has always been that my gender issues are in some way connected to trying to fill the void created by the absence of my mother. Throughout my life, the emergence of Sammie has always been strongest when I was either single and lonely, or away from home, or exceptionally insecure or stressed. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, girls. And on one level, I did figure it all out long ago. The harder part was the battle to forgive myself, and drop the feelings of guilt and embrace the girl with love and total acceptance.
While I understand we are all different, Clara, and I certainly do not want to undermine whatever works for someone else, especially you, dear one, for me, labels and names only got in the way and intensified the guilt. It was much easier when I stopped caring in any way what anyone else cared or thought and simply began to embrace,love and accept wholeheartedly what my own personal reality is. The moment that happened was, for me, like being born anew, only this time with some idea of the skills needed to parent this new girl, not with recrimination and shame but with love.
Sorry, this may have gotten off track.
I said before that this board is often much like a confessional booth. I feel like any day I may get a bill for psychotherapy services.
Hugs
Let me see if I can avoid that, this time.
Quite honestly, I am amazed how often things said by you and Lisa express exactly feelings or sentiments I might have enunciated myself. For three people of such diverse backgrounds, it is really wonderful how much there is in common among we three (and likely many more)
This also might better be placed in a different thread, but here goes...
Lisa, you spoke of the women in your life. I only had the one. My mother. My folks split up when I was about 6. I grew up with my mother, a strong but very loving woman, and with my older brother forced into the role of surrogate father for me. Searching for a feminine role, for me, as with many, goes back to childhood. Whenever I delve into these memories I can immediately hear the Freudians beginning to clack away. LOL You see my mother worked and there were always hours in the afternoon when my brother was out and she was not home yet, and little Sammie was being born. My suspicion has always been that my gender issues are in some way connected to trying to fill the void created by the absence of my mother. Throughout my life, the emergence of Sammie has always been strongest when I was either single and lonely, or away from home, or exceptionally insecure or stressed. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this out, girls. And on one level, I did figure it all out long ago. The harder part was the battle to forgive myself, and drop the feelings of guilt and embrace the girl with love and total acceptance.
While I understand we are all different, Clara, and I certainly do not want to undermine whatever works for someone else, especially you, dear one, for me, labels and names only got in the way and intensified the guilt. It was much easier when I stopped caring in any way what anyone else cared or thought and simply began to embrace,love and accept wholeheartedly what my own personal reality is. The moment that happened was, for me, like being born anew, only this time with some idea of the skills needed to parent this new girl, not with recrimination and shame but with love.
Sorry, this may have gotten off track.
I said before that this board is often much like a confessional booth. I feel like any day I may get a bill for psychotherapy services.
Hugs