19-01-2014, 05:01 PM
My wife seems to have completely accepted my female identity, such as it is. I am not trans; my feminine gender is emergent. I don't know how far it will develop. For example, I've found myself remarking on my wife's clothes:
"Oh, I like your new blouse, honey!" I said the other day.
"I've had this blouse for more than a year," she responded. "You're just now taking an interest in what I wear," she giggles. "Oh, by the way, I ironed your pink top, the one with the little bow, in case you want to wear it today."
Her attitude toward my fem evolution was not always so relaxed. It had to be encouraged and nurtured.
One thing I did was talk to her about my inner most feelings and desires. I say talk 'to her' because that's kind of how it was. I talked and she listened. I craved to hear some reaction, some acknowledgement from her that she was getting it. None came for days. I was really in the dark as far as knowing how she was taking it. Eventually, she started responding in kind, but up till then, I was on pins and needles.
Another thing I did was suggest some stuff to read. Firstly, I wanted her to understand that my female gender sense is congenital, not due to childhood trauma (there was none), and not a fetish (as I, myself, once believed). My wife read most of "My Husband Wear My Clothes" which is written for the spouses of cross genders. Another good book that delves into the trials of transsexuals and their acceptance by loved ones is "Trans-sister Radio".
We also watched a few movies together that have a transgender theme. Be careful on this one, not all hollywood depictions of transgenders are helpful. To start with, I do recommend National Geographic's documentary "Sex, Lies and Gender" available on Youtube. Also, "Becoming Chaz" a documentary about Chastity Bono's FTM transition available on Netflix. I would stay away from "The Crying Game" in the beginning. You want movies that leave a positive, encouraging feeling in the mind of your partner. I always watched a trans movie first in the beginning to judge its potential for positive enlightenment.
The goal is to erase the prejudice that our lifetime of programming has instilled in our minds. Unfortunately, there are some things that can't be erased. You can't change a person's deep rooted sexual orientation. But, keep in mind that many people suppress their true sexual orientation. My journey of personal discovery has opened up closed doors for my wife, as well. As I have opened up to her, she has been opening up to me. You can probably imagine how liberating that can be if done with good intentions and love.
CK
"Oh, I like your new blouse, honey!" I said the other day.
"I've had this blouse for more than a year," she responded. "You're just now taking an interest in what I wear," she giggles. "Oh, by the way, I ironed your pink top, the one with the little bow, in case you want to wear it today."
Her attitude toward my fem evolution was not always so relaxed. It had to be encouraged and nurtured.
One thing I did was talk to her about my inner most feelings and desires. I say talk 'to her' because that's kind of how it was. I talked and she listened. I craved to hear some reaction, some acknowledgement from her that she was getting it. None came for days. I was really in the dark as far as knowing how she was taking it. Eventually, she started responding in kind, but up till then, I was on pins and needles.
Another thing I did was suggest some stuff to read. Firstly, I wanted her to understand that my female gender sense is congenital, not due to childhood trauma (there was none), and not a fetish (as I, myself, once believed). My wife read most of "My Husband Wear My Clothes" which is written for the spouses of cross genders. Another good book that delves into the trials of transsexuals and their acceptance by loved ones is "Trans-sister Radio".
We also watched a few movies together that have a transgender theme. Be careful on this one, not all hollywood depictions of transgenders are helpful. To start with, I do recommend National Geographic's documentary "Sex, Lies and Gender" available on Youtube. Also, "Becoming Chaz" a documentary about Chastity Bono's FTM transition available on Netflix. I would stay away from "The Crying Game" in the beginning. You want movies that leave a positive, encouraging feeling in the mind of your partner. I always watched a trans movie first in the beginning to judge its potential for positive enlightenment.
The goal is to erase the prejudice that our lifetime of programming has instilled in our minds. Unfortunately, there are some things that can't be erased. You can't change a person's deep rooted sexual orientation. But, keep in mind that many people suppress their true sexual orientation. My journey of personal discovery has opened up closed doors for my wife, as well. As I have opened up to her, she has been opening up to me. You can probably imagine how liberating that can be if done with good intentions and love.
CK