[SarahSchilling]

I never felt comfortable in the male sexual role from an early age. Even though I was sexually attracted to women, I didn't experience the normal male arousal at the idea of penetrating a woman. I could, and I did (I have three children), but there was always performance anxiety in the mix, and I often depended on fantasy to maintain a serviceable erection and achieve orgasm. I preferred my wife to be on top and often imagined that I was the one being penetrated. It caused me a lot of shame and worry afterward, and put our sex life pretty much on my wife's schedule, not mine. She sensed my unease and became more and more sexually inhibited, as well.

Some might conclude that I'm gay, but I'm sure that's not the case. I find the male physique unattractive, even ugly, to the point I don't even like my own body. I will admit that I have fantasized about feminine looking shemales, though. Does that make me gay?

It's amazing how common this "mental penetration gymnastics required to perform" trait is among the members of this site.....or maybe not.

It was actually discussed in some detail in a thread before. Pages 3-6 or so

http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=17216&page=3

As for the sex life? LOL, I'm amazed any of us are able to maintain longterm relationships with the very obvious limitations that said gymnastics place on intercourse.

How do the women not sense something's up? My lovers always did really quickly. Oh well, I guess maybe I just suck at hiding it.