[PattiJT]

Just curious, how good a relationship do you have with your parents that they let you play on the computer at midnight? You mention talking with your mom, and grandmother, but no mention of your father, who is the one you're actually living with. I hope you're not setting up to play one against the other? If, indeed, this whole thing is on the up and up, you should be upfront with your father, FIRST, or he could be understandably upset that you're doing an end-around him. Which could make it twice as hard for him to even believe you're being honest, let alone want to help you. Don't put him in a spot where he feels threatened by your mom and grandmom. It will make him much less understanding and accepting.
You thank everyone for their help, but you're not really following advice if you're thinking you need herbs. If you're really gung-ho, and ready to cut your dick off, you need to get completely serious and get the show on the road with the right process, with the right people, and the right hormones!! You're at the prime age, piddle around and lose your chance at having the best outcome. Up to you. IF you're real. I'll be honest, I have serious doubts as to your veracity.