[GoneGirl]

My wife and I are so happy so far with the progress (mental) and are hoping this is real. In a few months, we are planning on going to talk to a Dr/therapist to see what we can do about getting on some sort of plan where I could be monitored. I am very nervous about hurting kidneys or liver or blood clotting. I just have to get over the embarrassment of telling a professional that I need my testosterone levels lowered.

I think you are on the right track, Hurricane. I'm betting it's real. Too bad you had to experience the unpleasant GI reaction to the high dose of PM.

It's good that you and your wife are communicating. It's essential, in my opinion. Complete honesty is necessary to build trust, and trust is needed to find a mutually satisfactory solution to your distress.

Seeing a doc is good, too. I'm at the age where I need to schedule regular doctor visits to monitor my general health including kidney and liver functions. Doing so yourself will afford you some peace of mind. I'm not aware of any serious health risks from taking PM, but it's good to get confirmation.

High T can be a problem for transgenders. It can aggravate gender dysphoria in males as described in this paper by Dr. Anne Vitale:

http://www.avitale.com/TNote15Testosterone.htm

If you do have a relatively high T level, you can drive it down using herbal supplements like Saw Palmetto (SP) or Spearment. That alone will reduce your libido and possibly quiet your mental anxiety. Some have complained that it left them feeling tired and empty. Everyone is different, though.

My testosterone (DHT) level has been on the high side all my life. Taking PM has lowered my T with predictable results, while at the same time feeding estrogen receptors in my brain and elsewhere. My energy level stays up and I keep a fairly positive mental attitude. PM is causing breast tissue growth, slowly but surely. I think I can deal with that in the trade-off.

My wife and I are more concerned about my ability to achieve and hold an erection on PM, so one week each month, I stop taking PM to restore my T levels temporarily. This seems to work with no lapse in mental well being. I'm also experimenting with Butea Superba, another herb from Thailand, that enhances male sexual function. It also seems to work for me, but I notice some degradation in my mental state while under its effect.

I have no plans to see a therapist. I have no plans to transition and live as a woman. I crossdress in the privacy of my home whenever the mood strikes me, and with my wife's approval. She's cool about it. We try to make it a fun thing we can share together. In many ways I have the best of two worlds. I live as a man with all privileges that it gives me while also being able to experience certain aspects of being a woman (including domestic duties unfortunately).

There's no way either of us want to go back to the way things were.

I commend you for taking steps to resolve your gender identity issues. I wish I had acted sooner myself. Too stupid and cowardly, I guess. I believe it's possible to find peace within yourself while bettering the lives of the people around you. Good luck.

CK