[TibetanPrincess]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

Hey, I'm just saying what many straight people say. They cannot relate in any way to your childhood/from-birth struggles, therefore, they'll most likely never understand. People like my straight aunt will never change their opinion on my gay cousin's lifestyle, so we just don't talk about stuff like that.

The problem with the kids and the wife is the betrayal factor. Its not so much that you are this and that way, its the with holding secret keeping and lying for some that do it. They see you this way for so long and then boom! That person has either died to them or there is that fear factor of not knowing who you really are.

Its sad because you are right, many just try to live the ideal for so long and then bam, it hits them one morning, "why am I struggling so hard to be something Im NOT!!! Life shouldn't have to be this way, I'm sick of it!"

Half your fault (for living the lie - bless your hearts) and half of nature's or society's I guess. Before you know it, you are trapped!

I know. I'm not bitching at you, just stating some facts, partly in case someone else might see this that thinks that way and it might help them see what's actually going on, partly to help bolster those that want to have that done.
I think that, if you ARE this way and want a standard male/female love relationship, you REALLY should go INTO it the way you ARE, the way you feel more comfortable with yourself, so the one you're going after sees what they have to deal with up front instead of suddenly dropping the T-bomb in their lap years and children down the road and they can decide from the get-go if they really want to be involved with something like that. If the attraction is REALLY there and genuine, it'll happen if you're in full fem mode or not! It's like being a woman and stuffing your bra, wearing a wig and lots of make-up just to get a guy! Then, he gets you home or marries you and you take off the mask/war paint, remove the wig and take the socks/Charmin (NOW you know why you shouldn't squeeze the Charmin!) from your bra and you expect him to still love you for you. You've been lying to HIM the whole time making him think you're something you're not. How can you expect him to love you for YOU, when, up until the grand unveiling, he had no real idea who you really were? Personally, I prefer my g/f (if I can EVER get one again) to wear no more make-up than lipstick, eyeliner and MAYBE a bit of rouge! I want to see HER, NOT the person the make-up makes her out to be. Besides, so VERY many girls are VERY pretty without the make-up!! Why try to improve on perfection??
So, in ALL cases, really, one SHOULD ALWAYS be true to oneself!! One is always either lying to a potential lover/spouse now and having to deal with it later or lying to oneself just to make others happy at the cost of one's own happiness.

Totally agree! Its gotta be known from the start. Be who you are. And yes, don't squeeze the Charmin! You'll be so dissapointed!