[TibetanPrincess]

Many (like yourself) would wish others would just accept things as they are, but you're right, there has to be some explanation that they (loved ones), themselves can identify with, or else its like asking a vegan to eat a steak. "Why??"

You have to think like the outsider on it. "Why would there be a need for that?" "why now after all these years?" I think the longer they see you as a certain way, the harder it is too accept you, or "the new you" that was always inside.

All they know is that you carry a strong desire to embody certain characteristics which by nature is generally not ideal, but does happen . Such a high chance they will never understand it and just render you confused, "off," or with perverse or fetish-freakish tendencies.

Being transgendered is not a perversion, nor is it a fetish!! In almost every case, a transgendered person has been dealing with this issue their entire life!! So many have this idea that they can fix themselves by getting married and having kids, but that rarely ever works.
Getting a tattoo or a piercing is more a fetish, and, in some cases, even a perversion, because it's not something some feels they HAVE to have from day 1 just to make themselves feel more comfortable in their own body! It's a decision someone makes for themselves much later in life.

Hey, I'm just saying what many straight people say. (Edit) "Fetish" as in the need for crossdressing (edit). They cannot relate in any way to your childhood/from-birth struggles, therefore, they'll most likely never understand. People like my straight aunt will never change their opinion on my gay cousin's lifestyle, so we just don't talk about stuff like that.

The problem with the kids and the wife is the betrayal factor. Its not so much that you are this and that way, its the with holding secret keeping and lying for some that do it. They see you this way for so long and then boom! That person has either died to them or there is that fear factor of not knowing who you really are.

Its sad because you are right, many just try to live the ideal for so long and then bam, it hits them one morning, "why am I struggling so hard to be something Im NOT!!! Life shouldn't have to be this way, I'm sick of it!"

Half your fault (for living the lie - bless your hearts) and half of nature's or society's I guess. Before you know it, you are trapped!