[TibetanPrincess]

Perhaps what I really should have said was"reap what you sow." This this case. Knowing for years that if your weren't going to be able to be up front about who you really are to people, you were basically setting yourself up for a future of a big "coming out" situation, love me or leave me ordeal.

At 43, you would have to take some responsibility and that's not going to be daisies when you have the sitdown-explain-who-you-really-are talk to some, but a strange rainbow they may be unwilling to accept on their part.

I know families can be hard to come out to , but we as a nation have had at least a good 10 years of transgender acceptance.

I wouldn't go to the extent of saying that it is your fault for not being yourself. It's a long tough journey sometimes to find your way through all of the expectations and standards and junk of "normal" to even figure out your true path to happiness, on top of the fact that people change all the time. I do agree though with most of these replies. In the end, you can influence those around you, but you cannot control them. You need to decide what type of role they will play in your life, and how you will go about including them. That being said, you also need to accept that everyone has their comfortabilities and opinions, and be respectful towards that, and not expect everyone to change their beliefs because of your 'extreme' need of change for happiness. It may seem cruel, but that is how relationships work. You know your family and friends best and you alone can decide how they perceive and experience you and your transition. Sacrifices. Reality is that you may need to hide some of this for some people who are important to you. To flaunt this extreme change that, to them, is not who you are, and say that it is the real you and they have to deal with it or GTFO because it makes you happy; is you being stubborn and selfish (not to say that is what you plan to do).
We all make sacrifices for the ones we love, and that includes the amount of info we expose and withhold to/from them. Besides, I honestly think the state of "self" is more than just a black and white. I act entirely different with different groups of people, and that is all different shades of grey that I call being myself. A more extreme example is my male mode and my girl mode, while being literal polar opposites, they are both different expressions of myself. I think that most people that take these "this is who I am, take it or leave it" attitudes are seeking a state of relevance and approval in life. We all want to leave impressions and sometimes take stubborn motions to get it.
I hope this post doesn't sound harsh, but I think you know the answer to this question best. Don't be afraid of the result, and you can be yourself, and filter as needed until it becomes apart of you in their eyes too.