[sfem]

I'm not sure I get where you're going with this?

Well, I didn't sleep much last night, so I wrote up a long reply to your post, and decided to sit back for a few minutes before hitting send. You'll be proud of me no doubt.

I'm not trying to change you or your mind Abi. I have deleted most of what I wrote as pointless. I did keep a couple of things I feel I do want to say though. I also have to say I am disappointed that there is getting to be so much personal bickering and name calling going on in this forum lately. It makes me sad and makes me feel like just withdrawing from the forum. Maybe it's just me, and I really should take a break from here for a while. A fair bit of what is in this thread (another completely hijacked one btw) seems to be aimed at individuals instead of their ideas and I think that is very destructive in a forum such as this. I would be very happy if that stopped. Anyway, for better or worse, here are the bits I decided to post.

I don't truly understand how the "in-betweenie" categories work. (Usually referred to as genderqueer, and I've been having a very rough time avoiding using the terminology since apparently you guys here don't like it.)

I personally find genderqueer to be an offensive label, but then I never did buy into the idea that choosing to label ourselves something offensive somehow reclaims the word(s). I think it is just another way to empower the haters, and maybe even continue subtly denigrating ourselves. "They" "took back" the word gay quite a few years ago and it remains a strong and common hate label when used by the haters.

When speaking with one of you I always try to respect who YOU are. Which is not like me. If I'm speaking to someone like me, then I'll respect them for who THEY are.

*sigh* Respect huh? Let me share with you what that word triggers for me in a context like this. I hear someone say they respect the right of someone else to be distinct. In this kind of context it means "I don't agree with or like what you are doing, but it's politically incorrect to say that. But if I vocalize respecting your rights, then I don't have to give up on my position and you can't tell me I did anything untoward." And in the meantime I have told you in code that you probably can't recognize, your position is wrong. You'll notice how this gets reinforced in subsequent communication when other clues to the underlying feelings slip out, such as using derogatory terms and saying they aren't derogatory because you didn't mean them that way. You know something? If you are into a discussion and at some point feel you need to tell the other party you respect their right to their opinion but you wish they would keep it to themselves, then you've already demonstrated you don't respect their opinion.

As for the original poster's question, I don't know much about transitioning, but I would be very surprised if you can transition without surgery unless I misunderstand what you mean by transition. Neither herbs nor drugs will make your dick fall off or grow a vagina.