[AbiDrew85]

Disclaimer: Don't take any of what I'm about to say as personal. I couldn't possibly knock your gender issues; I've had enough of my own. I've got them sorted now, though, so as someone older than yourself who's been through it, let me present a few realities I've come to accept.

Personal, no, but the latter part you most certainly go on and do just that.

I'm not, never have been, and never will be, a woman. I will never have the bone structure, the reproductive equipment, the life experience from birth. No amount of drugs or plastic surgery will ever change that. Ever.

Secondarily to that, I've discovered that I wouldn't want to be, anyway. But that's entirely beside the point.

That's you. My body is actually somewhat ambiguous in bone structure, and whether the reproductive equipment is as well or not is yet to be determined. Though it is an undeniable fact that I have disgustingly "male" equipment. My life experience from birth... That's a much more complex tale to tell. My life experience from birth, in a nutshell, is of a girl who walled herself off from the world and herself incredibly deeply in order to protect herself from a world who insists she's a boy.

I'm not an ordinary testosterone-fueled football-watching meathead guy who thinks with his junk. So where does that leave me? Not a "man" in the common vernacular... and not a woman. What else is there?

I now know the answer to that question: In between. A tranny. Ladyboy. Shemale. Two-spirit. Whatever. And I'm fine with that. As far as I'm concerned, it makes me a rare and special human being, not a freak. That's my attitude, and anyone who doesn't like it can pound sand. Being bi doesn't hurt either, but that's neither here nor there.

Fantastic! I'm glad you can accept yourself for who you are! But THAT'S NOT ME! Oh, not about being a rare and special human being, we're all that.

Now here are a few contradictions floating around in TS-blogland that are so incredible that I'm reminded of the White Queen who could believe six impossible things before breakfast each morning:

OK... Let's see what these contradictions are. I'm suspecting most of them are only your failure of understanding.

GID is and is not a mental illness -- It depends on the day, apparently. TS activists have screamed for years to get Gender Identity Disorder taken out of the DSM, because there's a stigma attached to mental illness. Ah, but then, since it's not a real disease, insurance won't pay for it! A conundrum indeed.

Uhm. Not exactly. Yes. We're saying that our gender's aren't a mental illness, but we're not saying it isn't a "real" medical problem. Thing is, it's not a medical DISEASE, but a medical BIRTH DEFECT. Birth defects are covered too, but without stigma. Maybe pity. I can put up with pity. I've been putting up with stigma, but pity would be much easier.

Sex/gender is in the mind, not the body -- Many theories on this are bandied about for the purpose of proving that someone born obviously male in form can have a female brain, and thus be a collection of feminine neurons somehow placed in the wrong body. This is a crock of shit either way you look at it:

First, the very proponents of this theory suggest that the solution is to change the body. Well, you really can't. You can perform some cosmetic changes, of course -- some facial rearrangement, breast implants, cutting off your penis and sewing it back inside-out... but it's just cosmetic, isn't it?

You do know that female-only subliminal programming has worked on me right? And I suspect that if a hypnotist would try to get inside my head they'd find me, even subconscious, insist I'm female. So no. Not a crock of shit. And presently cosmetic's all that's available, yes, and I'd rather take the cosmetic and get as close to the real me as I can than continue to try to live between. I CAN'T. Because I'm NOT. When medical science comes up with a way to correct me truly and completely, with home-grown female bits grown from my own cell cultures, I'll be signing up to be a test subject. It's possible. And the day it'll become reality is getting closer.

Aha, so now we're forced to defend the notion that we can cure mental illness with plastic surgery.

No. No we're not. I'm not mentally ill. And there's nothing to cure. My BODY needs CORRECTED. I never EVER once said I need someone to "cure" anything did I?

I already cured what could be cured myself. The chronic depression. The hiding deep inside myself. All that mental stuff. I've fought it off best I can in my present circumstance. Is it perfect? No. I'm not fully correct yet and until I am it's going to be a constant battle with those demons. Even then some of them MAY linger, but that's life.

On the other hand, if someone has the temerity to suggest that it's easier to change the mind than the body, they are shouted down by the TS Nazi-ettes. No!! You can't change the mind! Crazy Talk!

Well, Nazi-ettes... I did it. And it didn't cost me a dime. No shrinks. No doctors. They talk of accepting who you are. You need to do more than accept. You need to live to your unique potential.

No. You didn't "change" your mind. You came to accept yourself for the way you are. I've come to accept who I am a long time ago. Unfortunately for me, that's not the end of it but merely the beginning.

That said... You are right though... The mind CAN be reprogrammed. But is it the right thing to do? Especially when all you're really doing is forcing someone to be who they're not and all present evidence suggests that programming that goes too counter to what's already in the subconscious doesn't last.

The mind can do amazing things. You write like a bright individual; I'm certain you can teach yourself to do things with your mind that your peers cannot understand. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. Ever heard that?

There's the old saw about having the power to change the things you can, the serenity to accept the things you can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. I will tell you this: no one has ever been happy wanting things they can't possibly obtain.

And thus we get to the crux of things. You're right. I will never be entirely happy in this life. But how's that different from most anyone else in this world? But I can't change that. Most people CAN and choose NOT TO. But the way I was made makes it so that the last little bit of what I NEED to be whole I can't ever have. At least. Not right now. But you see. Science? It's getting there. And I'm young yet. Even if I'm past "normal" reproductive years when it gets there... The bits they grow for me and then implant in will be fresh and young. No eggs used yet. I'll be just starting my reproductive years as soon as the science gets there.

Miss C

Nice post

Rock on

Julie

I'm disappointed in both of you. I don't understand what it is to be in-between either but you don't see me running my mouth against it do you?

I'm NOT in-between. I'll NEVER understand the concept. Just like you're not transsexual, and you'll NEVER understand the concept. Just accept that I'm here, that I'm transsexual, that I'm FEMALE in mind and spirit, and leave the rest of the BS outside.