Thank you who have left encouraging replies. I will try not to bother you too much with personal stuff, sorry I can be a little over the top occasionally 
Really appreciate the nice people here!
That brain chemistry thing is interesting but I don't really know what to say about it. I have been depressed as you all know by now, hehe. But I am really rather confident in my 'inner self', I don't see my brain as my problem, it's more the body. Have read that FAQ page from top to bottom a couple of times already lol. I am getting more reassured that I am trans each day. My mind has always been the way it is, 'Me'
I want my body and appearance to reflect my inside, in boy-mode I am letting out maybe a tenth of who I really am for myself.
It seems I get a period of heightened 'well being' on PM when it is 'just right' then a few days later it gets 'too much' this may be related to my (extreme?) sensitivity to the substance. First I get really really in touch with myself and the world in a good way, then when it becomes to much it is like I am losing myself in the whirlwind. Definitely want the 'right' amount for me which is cause for further experimentation with an even lower dose. I will also try to make home made breast creme, I don't want to lose what I have gained! Thank you for the tip! Not to be put on the nipples right?
3 and a half days totally PM-free as I am writing this, after 10 days on. The muscle pain stopped about when I stopped PM, maybe even earlier, so can't say for sure... Still lactating though as of 15 minutes ago!
Sharing some pics of what my tits look like now (hard to make it show in pictures, before PM I was totally flat). Was really amazed the other day the amount of growth I've gotten from 10 days only, cant wear tight t-shirt without them showing.
Dawn lighting:
Upper body overview:
'Leaning forward':
Really appreciate the nice people here!That brain chemistry thing is interesting but I don't really know what to say about it. I have been depressed as you all know by now, hehe. But I am really rather confident in my 'inner self', I don't see my brain as my problem, it's more the body. Have read that FAQ page from top to bottom a couple of times already lol. I am getting more reassured that I am trans each day. My mind has always been the way it is, 'Me'
I want my body and appearance to reflect my inside, in boy-mode I am letting out maybe a tenth of who I really am for myself.It seems I get a period of heightened 'well being' on PM when it is 'just right' then a few days later it gets 'too much' this may be related to my (extreme?) sensitivity to the substance. First I get really really in touch with myself and the world in a good way, then when it becomes to much it is like I am losing myself in the whirlwind. Definitely want the 'right' amount for me which is cause for further experimentation with an even lower dose. I will also try to make home made breast creme, I don't want to lose what I have gained! Thank you for the tip! Not to be put on the nipples right?
3 and a half days totally PM-free as I am writing this, after 10 days on. The muscle pain stopped about when I stopped PM, maybe even earlier, so can't say for sure... Still lactating though as of 15 minutes ago!
Sharing some pics of what my tits look like now (hard to make it show in pictures, before PM I was totally flat). Was really amazed the other day the amount of growth I've gotten from 10 days only, cant wear tight t-shirt without them showing.
Dawn lighting: