[Mandy88]

What do you mean why you say you don't identify as a girl? Do you mean you don't think of yourself as being a girly girl? Or do you mean more along the lines that you don't relate to being a member of the female gender?

Do you consider yourself as being a feminine male, androgynous, a third gender or having no gender identity at all?

Failure of communication on my part. I don't identify myself as 'a girl' meaning 'some girl', I identify as Me, and Me seems to be not really a girl nor a boy. I do identify myself most with 'third gender'. I would like to have a female face and body but, as I said earlier, to keep my penis. I really don't want to put a label on myself but third gender feels closest to the truth. I do want to live as a woman but it would not be as the 'typical woman'-stereotype that I see when I think in those terms. I am not a girly girl and I understand that all women aren't either! Since I wrote that I have been thinking less in terms of 'girl' or 'boy' and more of 'Me', cuz I do NOT want to be anything other then ME and I care less about being girl or boy, we are all unique anyway :p

I think it's best to take matters slowly, especially when you're uncertain. Even if you feel confident about HRT, there are additional matters I think you should also contemplate about first. Have you also considered the other possible challenges with transitioning like voice therapy, hair removal for your face/chest, etc., feminization surgery like a tracheal shave, making your transitioning public to your family, friends and workplace?

I hadn't heard of tracheal shave! I don't think I'm interested in that, I am quite happy about my neck the way it is, maybe I'll change my mind sometime... Beard growth I would like to get rid of for sure. Otherwise I have poor hair growth on my body, a few straws near my nipples that I easily shave. I am also unemployed... What I tried to say earlier is that it does feel like a good time for change in my life right now, maybe that is why it came up now?
I am not confident in HRT, I am interested in the results but the side effects scare me a little. I have come out to a couple of people one being a family member and I am confident the rest of my family would approve, although I will wait a bit with them. It's a liberal family, lucky me! HRT is something I am not really thinking about now I just read a lot the other night. I am trying to take small steps so the HRT question I think I will leave on ice for now. My goal is to get to know my real self better and experiment further with PM, and see a professional.

Regarding my sex drive, I still have it but in a different way then as 'male'. I fantasize about being treated as a girl and get very aroused yet ejaculation is not needed I get more of a 'general happiness' and 'mind relief' rather than the physical thing.

Thank you for answering! /Mandy