Thanks for your concern and warning beverly, it is appreciated.
You are right, some people will notice changes and it will be hard to hide at some point. Let me run you and others from my thoughts/plan on this subject, maybe it will be of help to others.
First off, my dad will never understand, I come from a conservative religious family and I will simply be an outcast. Doctors/therapists have all told me I should try to come out but they simply don't know my family, even coming out as gay/bi would be enough to ruin most of my relationships. That is not an option, I would rather fight tooth and nail to keep it a secret then lose them outright.
I already mentioned Gynocomestia and a compression bra for hiding breasts, but what about the other changes?
Skin
Well hormones do change skin, make it softer and redistribute fat in the face a little. But luckily, I am young still, only 24 and my face has always been quite soft (people have commented on me having baby skin) since I tended to avoid sports/the sun a lot.
If you haven't got soft skin, start using cleanser, toner, moisturizer and other skin care products months before you start transitioning. Preparation is key, you need plausible deniability based on circumstances from BEFORE your transition. Also make sure people see you using it, visit your family and bring your products.
Fat redistribution
Well this can only be seen without clothes, so key is to just wear baggy male clothing. Which I have almost always worn my whole life. Once again, if you haven't worn them, start wearing them before your transition and make sure people see it.
Hair reduction
This is similiar to skin, start shaving/trimming your hair before your transition. If anyone asks why you are doing it, there are many good reasons, including women find it more attractive for men in the modern age. (My dad even accepted that one after I got rid of my arm and leg hair.)
Electrolysis/eyebrow trimming
These 2 can have more of an impact on feminizing you, even more then most of the effects from HRT. But they are also impossible to hide. If you've always had a thick beard and 5 o'clock shadow then you might find it especially hard to get away with electrolysis without anyone noticing.
Luckily (I know this sounds weird) I have a skin condition, rosecea and dermatitis. Also I'm prone to outbreaks, so lets say I have problem skin. I managed to convince my dad that I needed to do "laser treatment" for my skin condition but that it would also as a side effect remove my hair follicles for a long time.
The best thing I can recommend is to just do electrolysis long before your transition, like I am now, then give people time to get used to you without your 5 o'clock shadow.
Same goes for eyebrows, if you want to wear them full-time and not have to grow them out for family visits. Go see a professional and get them trimmed to something that would look good for a man, then few weeks later go again but go a little further. You might get some weird looks but atleast they will see you doing this as a male and get used to it.
The rest
Everything else is conscious choices you make, clothing, mannerisms and voice. You will simply have to practise switching between the two, get used to it before you make your transition, it will be much easier then to meld into both social genders. Also some people might want to start dressing more "metro", so when you transition back to male atleast it suits your newer persona and even if something slips through, someone notices, they will just assume you are a product of this modern society (if they are seeing you from a conservative pre-modern religious point of view especially).
Sorry for the big post, but the trick really is to let people get used to seeing the changes GRADUALLY. People are far less likely to notice a gradual change then a sudden one and to have plausible deniability for any possible change by establishing pre-transition precedents (also TAKE PICTURES for proof!).
Old friends who see you rarely will probably be shocked, but they aren't family, and usually won't say anything or will just stop having contact with you. But if they are old friends, that you never see, then I guess you haven't lost much.
Warning
Living a secret life is not easy, as therapists have pointed out to me, it can really wear a toll on people and lead to depression! Please consult your doctor/therapists before you make any life changing choices and carefully weigh how much WORK it will be to keep up such a charade. This is ONLY for people with no choice, if you have a reasonable chance of coming out to your family then you have to do it, even if it's tough emotionally. This is a last resort, not an easy way out!
Hope this is useful to someone!
You are right, some people will notice changes and it will be hard to hide at some point. Let me run you and others from my thoughts/plan on this subject, maybe it will be of help to others.
First off, my dad will never understand, I come from a conservative religious family and I will simply be an outcast. Doctors/therapists have all told me I should try to come out but they simply don't know my family, even coming out as gay/bi would be enough to ruin most of my relationships. That is not an option, I would rather fight tooth and nail to keep it a secret then lose them outright.
I already mentioned Gynocomestia and a compression bra for hiding breasts, but what about the other changes?
Skin
Well hormones do change skin, make it softer and redistribute fat in the face a little. But luckily, I am young still, only 24 and my face has always been quite soft (people have commented on me having baby skin) since I tended to avoid sports/the sun a lot.
If you haven't got soft skin, start using cleanser, toner, moisturizer and other skin care products months before you start transitioning. Preparation is key, you need plausible deniability based on circumstances from BEFORE your transition. Also make sure people see you using it, visit your family and bring your products.
Fat redistribution
Well this can only be seen without clothes, so key is to just wear baggy male clothing. Which I have almost always worn my whole life. Once again, if you haven't worn them, start wearing them before your transition and make sure people see it.
Hair reduction
This is similiar to skin, start shaving/trimming your hair before your transition. If anyone asks why you are doing it, there are many good reasons, including women find it more attractive for men in the modern age. (My dad even accepted that one after I got rid of my arm and leg hair.)
Electrolysis/eyebrow trimming
These 2 can have more of an impact on feminizing you, even more then most of the effects from HRT. But they are also impossible to hide. If you've always had a thick beard and 5 o'clock shadow then you might find it especially hard to get away with electrolysis without anyone noticing.
Luckily (I know this sounds weird) I have a skin condition, rosecea and dermatitis. Also I'm prone to outbreaks, so lets say I have problem skin. I managed to convince my dad that I needed to do "laser treatment" for my skin condition but that it would also as a side effect remove my hair follicles for a long time.
The best thing I can recommend is to just do electrolysis long before your transition, like I am now, then give people time to get used to you without your 5 o'clock shadow.
Same goes for eyebrows, if you want to wear them full-time and not have to grow them out for family visits. Go see a professional and get them trimmed to something that would look good for a man, then few weeks later go again but go a little further. You might get some weird looks but atleast they will see you doing this as a male and get used to it.
The rest
Everything else is conscious choices you make, clothing, mannerisms and voice. You will simply have to practise switching between the two, get used to it before you make your transition, it will be much easier then to meld into both social genders. Also some people might want to start dressing more "metro", so when you transition back to male atleast it suits your newer persona and even if something slips through, someone notices, they will just assume you are a product of this modern society (if they are seeing you from a conservative pre-modern religious point of view especially).
Sorry for the big post, but the trick really is to let people get used to seeing the changes GRADUALLY. People are far less likely to notice a gradual change then a sudden one and to have plausible deniability for any possible change by establishing pre-transition precedents (also TAKE PICTURES for proof!).
Old friends who see you rarely will probably be shocked, but they aren't family, and usually won't say anything or will just stop having contact with you. But if they are old friends, that you never see, then I guess you haven't lost much.
Warning
Living a secret life is not easy, as therapists have pointed out to me, it can really wear a toll on people and lead to depression! Please consult your doctor/therapists before you make any life changing choices and carefully weigh how much WORK it will be to keep up such a charade. This is ONLY for people with no choice, if you have a reasonable chance of coming out to your family then you have to do it, even if it's tough emotionally. This is a last resort, not an easy way out!
Hope this is useful to someone!