Meh!
There seem to be as many label definitions as experts in the field!
I'm pretty sure what's wrong with me (and I'm not going to debate what "wrong" means) and what to do about it. I may as well stick with the "expert" who gave me the first inkling about what was "doing my head in".
She talks about a transsexual brain caused by insufficient androgen exposure. It makes a lot of sense to me. It also makes sense that there is a spectrum of the disorder ranging from mild grumpiness and a wish to dress as a woman ranging to suicidal thoughts of not transforming completely, and people in the middle like me who just want to muddle along presenting themselves in the most appropriate manner, but wanting to do something about their anxiety (and by the way, a pair of boobs would be nice as long as they don't show too much.)
Labelling the extreme end as Transsexual and the intermediate stage as Transgender seems a matter of convenience, but it makes as much sense from an etymological standpoint as distinguishing an "atheist" (meaning without a deity) from an agnostic ("without knowledge"). Strictly, an atheist has no belief in a God, but has been narrowly defined now as someone having an active disbelief, leaving "agnostic" to take over the meaning of someone who neither believes nor disbelieves.
Similarly, Transgender ("across" or "beyond" gender) is literally indistinguishable from Transsexual ("across" or "beyond" sexuality).
The words, as words, mean the same thing, but it seems some people want to use the latter in the narrow definition of someone who feels driven to surgery in order to conform to a female stereotype.
I'm not content to relabel myself for the convenience of TS extremists who want to hog the word (when I was a kid, "gay" meant "happy")
I think that I am a transsexual, but one that does not follow the orthodoxy that this necessarily entails full transition; at least not now there are safe estrogen mimics that allow us to cope with our brain disorder.
As for alternative labels, I'm happy with heretic.
Later edit:
I thought it worth referring back to the Vitale "Testosterone Toxicity paper" on http://www.avitale.com/TNote15Testosterone.htm
I think I am slightly different, as I seem to be the only one here (other than Chrissie, who was here) who had experienced the reduction in anxiety referenced in this quote:
"It is well known that large doses of exogenous estrogens administered to some genetic males, dramatically reduces the anxiety of gender dysphoria. ...
It is also known that the administration of cross sex hormones MUST be maintained to sustain the anxiolytic effect. It is not unusual for some patients, feeling better after starting hormones, to believe they are cured and no longer need to continue the medication. Unfortunately what they experience is a quick return of their gender dysphoria. If there is any physical test to determine who should seriously consider partial or full transition, taking cross sex hormones is it."
That's why I consider myself a transsexual heretic. I suppose growing breasts is my partial transition, but, as I've said before, PM let's me cope, and I'm too old, and too ugly to do anything else.
B.
There seem to be as many label definitions as experts in the field!
I'm pretty sure what's wrong with me (and I'm not going to debate what "wrong" means) and what to do about it. I may as well stick with the "expert" who gave me the first inkling about what was "doing my head in".
She talks about a transsexual brain caused by insufficient androgen exposure. It makes a lot of sense to me. It also makes sense that there is a spectrum of the disorder ranging from mild grumpiness and a wish to dress as a woman ranging to suicidal thoughts of not transforming completely, and people in the middle like me who just want to muddle along presenting themselves in the most appropriate manner, but wanting to do something about their anxiety (and by the way, a pair of boobs would be nice as long as they don't show too much.)
Labelling the extreme end as Transsexual and the intermediate stage as Transgender seems a matter of convenience, but it makes as much sense from an etymological standpoint as distinguishing an "atheist" (meaning without a deity) from an agnostic ("without knowledge"). Strictly, an atheist has no belief in a God, but has been narrowly defined now as someone having an active disbelief, leaving "agnostic" to take over the meaning of someone who neither believes nor disbelieves.
Similarly, Transgender ("across" or "beyond" gender) is literally indistinguishable from Transsexual ("across" or "beyond" sexuality).
The words, as words, mean the same thing, but it seems some people want to use the latter in the narrow definition of someone who feels driven to surgery in order to conform to a female stereotype.
I'm not content to relabel myself for the convenience of TS extremists who want to hog the word (when I was a kid, "gay" meant "happy")
I think that I am a transsexual, but one that does not follow the orthodoxy that this necessarily entails full transition; at least not now there are safe estrogen mimics that allow us to cope with our brain disorder.
As for alternative labels, I'm happy with heretic.
Later edit:
I thought it worth referring back to the Vitale "Testosterone Toxicity paper" on http://www.avitale.com/TNote15Testosterone.htm
I think I am slightly different, as I seem to be the only one here (other than Chrissie, who was here) who had experienced the reduction in anxiety referenced in this quote:
"It is well known that large doses of exogenous estrogens administered to some genetic males, dramatically reduces the anxiety of gender dysphoria. ...
It is also known that the administration of cross sex hormones MUST be maintained to sustain the anxiolytic effect. It is not unusual for some patients, feeling better after starting hormones, to believe they are cured and no longer need to continue the medication. Unfortunately what they experience is a quick return of their gender dysphoria. If there is any physical test to determine who should seriously consider partial or full transition, taking cross sex hormones is it."
That's why I consider myself a transsexual heretic. I suppose growing breasts is my partial transition, but, as I've said before, PM let's me cope, and I'm too old, and too ugly to do anything else.
B.