03-11-2011, 10:47 PM
Bryony - I have sent you a PM about some of the more personal stuff.
sfem - thank you for your kind words. I have told this story before in bits and pieces, here and there, but I never planned to collate it into one piece. Occasionally I start typing and all of a sudden it all comes flooding out. You should see some of the stuff I dumped on poor Chrissie's PM box - at one point I was crying so much I could barely see the keyboard.
The journey is so unexpected and, in my case so unwanted, that I find it very difficult to cope with. I never wanted to be Beverley, but I am and I cannot deny it any longer. I no longer battle it and I have given in to it. Acceptance is a very female attribute and a very important one. I have learned to accept things without understanding them and to be content. As an 'evolving woman' it is vital that I master this.
I am resisting the urge to legally change my name because none of us are ready yet, but by this time next year...??? Who can say? My life is not hell, but it will get more complicated and more difficult and I keep reminding myself that the biggest fear is fear itself.
All this was locked up inside and I am certain that PM released it - broke the locks, threw away the key, set me free from 'him'.
I am sorry, I have started 'dumping' again. Maybe it is my 'time of the month'
I could go and on and on but I will force myself to stop. I want to have a cry anyway even though I am not sad or anything. I just feel like having a good blub.
I love you all
Beverley
sfem - thank you for your kind words. I have told this story before in bits and pieces, here and there, but I never planned to collate it into one piece. Occasionally I start typing and all of a sudden it all comes flooding out. You should see some of the stuff I dumped on poor Chrissie's PM box - at one point I was crying so much I could barely see the keyboard.
The journey is so unexpected and, in my case so unwanted, that I find it very difficult to cope with. I never wanted to be Beverley, but I am and I cannot deny it any longer. I no longer battle it and I have given in to it. Acceptance is a very female attribute and a very important one. I have learned to accept things without understanding them and to be content. As an 'evolving woman' it is vital that I master this.
I am resisting the urge to legally change my name because none of us are ready yet, but by this time next year...??? Who can say? My life is not hell, but it will get more complicated and more difficult and I keep reminding myself that the biggest fear is fear itself.
All this was locked up inside and I am certain that PM released it - broke the locks, threw away the key, set me free from 'him'.
I am sorry, I have started 'dumping' again. Maybe it is my 'time of the month'
I could go and on and on but I will force myself to stop. I want to have a cry anyway even though I am not sad or anything. I just feel like having a good blub.I love you all
Beverley