17-09-2011, 07:59 AM
Chrissie,
I'm really happy for you - where you are right now and where you see your journey tasking you. There is a part of me, my female component, that envies you that journey, but I know, as I have known for 40 years, that that path is not for me.
There is no way of really knowing how the complex of upbringing, social situation, emotions, bio-chemistry, mental drive, etc, work either together or against each other to position each us on the male - female spectrum, but I do believe that it put me pretty close to the middle, male/female in pretty much equal balance. In some ways I get the best of both worlds but in others it can be frustrating to be neither truly one or the other and finding that if I consciously and deliberately try to move either way, the other half of me pulls me back to the middle sooner or later. At different times in my life, that 'centering' has taken as short a time as 8 weeks or so and at another, 8 years or more.
I also don't know if I am better off in the middle or, like you being physically one, but mentally the other, with the need and drive that you have to make the two come together. The only thing I am fairly sure of is that it has taken me a long time to understand that where I am is where I should be and that I am comfortable being me, as you are happy being you.
I'm really happy for you - where you are right now and where you see your journey tasking you. There is a part of me, my female component, that envies you that journey, but I know, as I have known for 40 years, that that path is not for me.
There is no way of really knowing how the complex of upbringing, social situation, emotions, bio-chemistry, mental drive, etc, work either together or against each other to position each us on the male - female spectrum, but I do believe that it put me pretty close to the middle, male/female in pretty much equal balance. In some ways I get the best of both worlds but in others it can be frustrating to be neither truly one or the other and finding that if I consciously and deliberately try to move either way, the other half of me pulls me back to the middle sooner or later. At different times in my life, that 'centering' has taken as short a time as 8 weeks or so and at another, 8 years or more.
I also don't know if I am better off in the middle or, like you being physically one, but mentally the other, with the need and drive that you have to make the two come together. The only thing I am fairly sure of is that it has taken me a long time to understand that where I am is where I should be and that I am comfortable being me, as you are happy being you.