Just a quick post to signal that I am still here and still alive.
We came back from holiday about 10 days ago and, as promised to my wife, I am looking into some place to do a full body check up (blood, hormones, everything...). We agreed that, given the prognosis of gynecomastia I had a few years back and some family history of breast cancer, I will also do a mammogram... which is weirdly validating.
Anyway, I still have about one month worth of Progynova in a drawer, two months if I did 2mg/day, but I won't touch it until I have done all my exams. After that... I don't know...
When we were on holiday I had to jump into a hot spring with my wife's family and, in a separate occasion, in a pool with her and my son. I reasoned that I really don't care about my shape when I am around my wife and kid but I got really self conscious when the rest of the family was around. Yes, I am chubby and yes, up until that moment they feed me like a pig before Christmas, but I still felt weird. On the positive side, nothing was said and I didn't clock any weird stares. I know that I am still in moob territory, but I wonder what would happen if I went further towards boobland.
It has now been about 2 1/2 months since I last took progynova. My moobs/boobs have deflated slightly but I can still fill a 38D. The boobs are far apart but there is a lot of flesh there once I put them inside an underwired bra. I could stop and call it a day but I am honestly sad that I am not doing anything to achieve something more, and I miss all the positive side effects of E, like the feeling of being younger and the lack of pains in my bones. The hair on my head, what's left of it, is also starting to thin and fall again, and I really hate that.
Another user here (you know who you are) told me that he asked an endo if it made sense to continue taking E to keep these effects going and apparently he has been served a resounding no. I know that unless I put myself in a transition list I would never be able to get a doctor to prescribe E, but my mind keeps justifying my intention to going back to it by thinking that if there are a few million trans people on monotherapy out there it mustn't be that bad for the body. To satisfy my craving, I sometimes toy with the idea of just buying a supply and then keep it there "just in case".
Anyway, let's see what the doctors say. If the results are all normal and if not having comment about my shape from her family calmed my wife a bit, maybe I can restart things slowly. We'll see.
We came back from holiday about 10 days ago and, as promised to my wife, I am looking into some place to do a full body check up (blood, hormones, everything...). We agreed that, given the prognosis of gynecomastia I had a few years back and some family history of breast cancer, I will also do a mammogram... which is weirdly validating.
Anyway, I still have about one month worth of Progynova in a drawer, two months if I did 2mg/day, but I won't touch it until I have done all my exams. After that... I don't know...
When we were on holiday I had to jump into a hot spring with my wife's family and, in a separate occasion, in a pool with her and my son. I reasoned that I really don't care about my shape when I am around my wife and kid but I got really self conscious when the rest of the family was around. Yes, I am chubby and yes, up until that moment they feed me like a pig before Christmas, but I still felt weird. On the positive side, nothing was said and I didn't clock any weird stares. I know that I am still in moob territory, but I wonder what would happen if I went further towards boobland.
It has now been about 2 1/2 months since I last took progynova. My moobs/boobs have deflated slightly but I can still fill a 38D. The boobs are far apart but there is a lot of flesh there once I put them inside an underwired bra. I could stop and call it a day but I am honestly sad that I am not doing anything to achieve something more, and I miss all the positive side effects of E, like the feeling of being younger and the lack of pains in my bones. The hair on my head, what's left of it, is also starting to thin and fall again, and I really hate that.
Another user here (you know who you are) told me that he asked an endo if it made sense to continue taking E to keep these effects going and apparently he has been served a resounding no. I know that unless I put myself in a transition list I would never be able to get a doctor to prescribe E, but my mind keeps justifying my intention to going back to it by thinking that if there are a few million trans people on monotherapy out there it mustn't be that bad for the body. To satisfy my craving, I sometimes toy with the idea of just buying a supply and then keep it there "just in case".
Anyway, let's see what the doctors say. If the results are all normal and if not having comment about my shape from her family calmed my wife a bit, maybe I can restart things slowly. We'll see.