14-09-2024, 03:42 PM
Its harsh. To be too different to have any worth to almost anyone... People are so shallow and just plain stupid with it all. Losing my dog along with almost all my old life friends was such blow I didn't expect it to be. Nothing else has made me so bitter because my dog didn't care about identity bullshit or about being different. I so much prayed for him to stay with me. He was so loyal to his last breath.
I kinda feel empty inside thinking how crushed my social life has become, how it barely exists. And I feel I have no future either because I'm not good for anything and I have zero value. Not enough even as a woman to sell my ass. Not even that. I so much wish to get a new puppy next year because dogs are just better than people. They will never abandon me for insignificant things.
There's this weird othering even on social media... Feels like this forum is the only place where I'm not being actively judged and othered and where some people actually appreciate me. Only thing that is similar is music scene, but those people tolerate my weirdness only because I'm a good drummer and vocalist. And some for knowing me for such long time.
I kinda feel empty inside thinking how crushed my social life has become, how it barely exists. And I feel I have no future either because I'm not good for anything and I have zero value. Not enough even as a woman to sell my ass. Not even that. I so much wish to get a new puppy next year because dogs are just better than people. They will never abandon me for insignificant things.
There's this weird othering even on social media... Feels like this forum is the only place where I'm not being actively judged and othered and where some people actually appreciate me. Only thing that is similar is music scene, but those people tolerate my weirdness only because I'm a good drummer and vocalist. And some for knowing me for such long time.