09-09-2024, 10:20 AM
I am not transitioning but I'll drop my 2 pence in here.
There has been a very dark time in my life when I was about 28 years old. Work sucked, I had plenty of debts from a previous divorce, and I suspected that my GF was cheating on me. The year before, I had created an account on an Italian crossdressers website (travcompany) using the name "Sara" but I was then stupid enough to use my actual email address in association with it on a few websites (noob!). Fast forward a few months, things with the GF are going even worse and I was working 18 hours a day just to cover my debts. Crossdressing became an increasingly important part of my little free time because I have always "dressed to de-stress" and I was having a lot of stress to let go off. One night I decided to dig a bit more into myself and try to understand what I wanted. I opened a new account on that same website, this time with a burner email, and started chatting around with guys to see if anyone local would want to chat with me. I had never been with a guy, but at that point I really wanted to understand who I was. So, under some generic "Girl123" name I started chatting with this guy from my same town and we decide to meet at some poin one of the following evenings. Obviously he asks me my name and I didn't want to link my identity with my old nickname, so I had a "Mrs Doubtfire" moment when my eyes wondered around looking for a name that suit me. As I said, it was a dark time, and the only dinner I allowed myself to have that night was a pot of chickpeas and a bottle of wine: Shiraz. That name sounded "magical" (something like "Shazam" in my head) so I just went with it. It also sounds a bit like She-Ra (He-man's cousin). (The "mn" part of my name has to do with the name of the town where I come from, and nowadays I just use it for consistency).
It is a sad story. A name essentially born out of depression, while hooking up with strangers online. But it reminds me that I have been through some shitty times and somehow managed to get out of them alive. My wife knows this story and we still exchange half a smile when I open a bottle of Shiraz to drink at home.
There has been a very dark time in my life when I was about 28 years old. Work sucked, I had plenty of debts from a previous divorce, and I suspected that my GF was cheating on me. The year before, I had created an account on an Italian crossdressers website (travcompany) using the name "Sara" but I was then stupid enough to use my actual email address in association with it on a few websites (noob!). Fast forward a few months, things with the GF are going even worse and I was working 18 hours a day just to cover my debts. Crossdressing became an increasingly important part of my little free time because I have always "dressed to de-stress" and I was having a lot of stress to let go off. One night I decided to dig a bit more into myself and try to understand what I wanted. I opened a new account on that same website, this time with a burner email, and started chatting around with guys to see if anyone local would want to chat with me. I had never been with a guy, but at that point I really wanted to understand who I was. So, under some generic "Girl123" name I started chatting with this guy from my same town and we decide to meet at some poin one of the following evenings. Obviously he asks me my name and I didn't want to link my identity with my old nickname, so I had a "Mrs Doubtfire" moment when my eyes wondered around looking for a name that suit me. As I said, it was a dark time, and the only dinner I allowed myself to have that night was a pot of chickpeas and a bottle of wine: Shiraz. That name sounded "magical" (something like "Shazam" in my head) so I just went with it. It also sounds a bit like She-Ra (He-man's cousin). (The "mn" part of my name has to do with the name of the town where I come from, and nowadays I just use it for consistency).
It is a sad story. A name essentially born out of depression, while hooking up with strangers online. But it reminds me that I have been through some shitty times and somehow managed to get out of them alive. My wife knows this story and we still exchange half a smile when I open a bottle of Shiraz to drink at home.