[CM213]

I have recently accepted that I'm trans or at the very min gender fluid. That being said I have made a promise to myself to start living my life the way I want to and to start being the person I have always envisioned myself to be (and that person is almost always feminine or a full blown woman) regardless of the external factors.  This is a choice that has already improved my mental state and general mindset greatly.

So I start this thread as a journal to document my early stages of transition. Since I made this promise to myself I have wained slowly off all testosterone boosting supplements and anabolic performance drugs in order to allow my body to reset and get back to it's normal state of balance. In doing so I have also used what many bodybuilders have used in the past when coming off cycle or post cycle therapy. I have used clomid, nolvadex and Hcg injections to help my body return to normal function as quickly as possible. 

This is the most common go to post cycle therapy for body builders coming off steroids. It is supposed to return function of the testicles quicker so there is not as much of a drop of testosterone in ones system, as the synthetic hormone is stopped, therefore allowing the subject to have less side affects coming off and not have as much muscle waste while waiting for their nature production to return to normal levels.

 A study showed that this combo helped reduce the time it takes to return to normal levels of testosterone in 3-6 months while those who did not use it,  took 6-12 months some even longer to return to normal T levels. 

So I am currently not taking anything. I have stopped steroids and test boosters and estrogen blockers since may. I just finished my post cycle therapy of HCG, clomid, and nolvadex here the second week of June. Now I will continue to wait and let my body return to what ever normal levels it can by the end of the summer. 

In the mean time I have purchased 10 bottles of Swanson's b.o and pituitary glandular as the foundation of my next nbe routine. I will gather other supporting supplements like red reshi, msm, s.p, green tea extract, progesterone cream and dhea. Progesterone and dhea will be saved for later use in the program. 

I plan to start September time frame. Which I will move at a very slow speed of 1 capsule of bo and pituitary glad a day for a month. I will start with half dose of the supporting supplements for the first month. The second month depending on how my body reacts I will go to full recommend dose for all supporting supplements. And I will increase bo and pituitary glad to 2 cap's a day for the duration of the second month which I will then re access and make changes. 

So far my biggest hurdle is the loss of strength and weight. It is playing some wicked games on my mind, this is Assuming I can get passed the mental barrier of becoming smaller, weaker and having less muscle and not abandon my plans to stay off steroids for good. So far I have lost 15 lbs. I started at 210 and now I am hovering around 195. I am leaner, I feel healthier carrying less weight around. I still look very muscular, but very deflated from how I look at 210 and on steroids.

So again my biggest challenge right now till I start in September is to stay true to my intentions and my promise to myself and not relapse and start taking testosterone again. 

I will keep this updated as things change and I will post states here from how my body has changed from just ceasing all forms of testosterone that is not naturally produced in my body.