15-05-2024, 01:21 PM
pooky,
Unfortunately my wife has not made it past the shock and awe stage of finding out that I am trans. She has a lot of fears and concerns that I assume everyone typically has, and continues to deal with as a spouse transitions.
She would never anytime soon be willing to go out in public with me dressed and presenting as a woman. She doesn't want a wife, she wants a man and a husband, she wants her husband to stay the same. So any and all forward progress I feel won't be welcomed, especially not socially. Not anytime soon. She already told.me that she does not know if she can continue our relationship as my wife if I continue. She said she would be supporting and be there for me, but doesn't know how long she can remain my spouse (depending on the extend of transitioning I go through, and for me I feel I want everything. But I know that can change with time.)
I have been a bit more daring by wearing more feminine lace type underwear around her. I have not worn any of my bras in front of her yet. I wish she would take.me under her wing so to speak and teach me how to be more feminine, to do my hair or buy wigs, teach me make up basics etc.
But I feel my marriage is over if I pursue transitioning. Just being realistic based on her reactions thus far. I would not be surprised if she is planning an exit strategy already if I get to a specific point that she has predetermined that is the line for her.
We will see. I am going to continue to see my therapist, and I will work on getting set up with the VA and hopefully get care through them. From what I've heard and researched the VA actual does a lot once they diagnose and individual as being trans or intersex. Just about everything other than gender affirming surgeries ( since they feel they are more cosmetic than medically necessary, however that is a case by case basis.)
Unfortunately my wife has not made it past the shock and awe stage of finding out that I am trans. She has a lot of fears and concerns that I assume everyone typically has, and continues to deal with as a spouse transitions.
She would never anytime soon be willing to go out in public with me dressed and presenting as a woman. She doesn't want a wife, she wants a man and a husband, she wants her husband to stay the same. So any and all forward progress I feel won't be welcomed, especially not socially. Not anytime soon. She already told.me that she does not know if she can continue our relationship as my wife if I continue. She said she would be supporting and be there for me, but doesn't know how long she can remain my spouse (depending on the extend of transitioning I go through, and for me I feel I want everything. But I know that can change with time.)
I have been a bit more daring by wearing more feminine lace type underwear around her. I have not worn any of my bras in front of her yet. I wish she would take.me under her wing so to speak and teach me how to be more feminine, to do my hair or buy wigs, teach me make up basics etc.
But I feel my marriage is over if I pursue transitioning. Just being realistic based on her reactions thus far. I would not be surprised if she is planning an exit strategy already if I get to a specific point that she has predetermined that is the line for her.
We will see. I am going to continue to see my therapist, and I will work on getting set up with the VA and hopefully get care through them. From what I've heard and researched the VA actual does a lot once they diagnose and individual as being trans or intersex. Just about everything other than gender affirming surgeries ( since they feel they are more cosmetic than medically necessary, however that is a case by case basis.)