22-10-2023, 04:19 PM
Turst issues are absolute pain in the ass... Especially these days when so many people treat relationships as discardable one time use kind of thing. I bet its online dating that accetuates this behaviour, no trouble finding another one if something doesn't work... Relationships and along with it, trust, seem to have been devalued a lot.
I don't like it at all. I would definitely be suspicious right away if a possible partener lied to me, especially if it repeats. I value trust, openness and communication above everything so talking about this with him might be a smart move? Adult way, if he's capable of that? So my advice, is to be careful and not pouring baby out with bathwater, talk with him. Tell him how you're feeling, be blunt if you have to. If he's worth your time and energy and appreciates you, he will be willing to discuss. Good people tend to do that as they see the value if the relationship and put in the effort.
Also a point about being open and telling a lot about yourself, be careful who you trust your secrets to, your past and everything... It may come bite you later so its better to know who to talk to. I'm often naively open and overshare, when I was younger I got in huge trouble for it many times. These days I'm much more careful, but some times I drop my guard down, even here on BN. Then in private messages and with good friends irl, I talk much more. I've learned it the hard way that knowing who to share things with is really important, silence is golden some times, oversharing will get you in trouble.
So once again the importance and value of trust cannot be understated. And those few people who are worth it, keep them close because there wont be many in a lifetime. Same goes with romantic partners, there can only be few "love of your life" kind of people. Most of them are not that. This comes from a ton of experience, both good and bad as I've dated so many ladies back in the day, a lot of whom I would swap for something longer lasting and stable if I could change the past. I have never dated men btw, I never found a guy like that as I have massive gargantuan trust issues about them.
I don't like it at all. I would definitely be suspicious right away if a possible partener lied to me, especially if it repeats. I value trust, openness and communication above everything so talking about this with him might be a smart move? Adult way, if he's capable of that? So my advice, is to be careful and not pouring baby out with bathwater, talk with him. Tell him how you're feeling, be blunt if you have to. If he's worth your time and energy and appreciates you, he will be willing to discuss. Good people tend to do that as they see the value if the relationship and put in the effort.
Also a point about being open and telling a lot about yourself, be careful who you trust your secrets to, your past and everything... It may come bite you later so its better to know who to talk to. I'm often naively open and overshare, when I was younger I got in huge trouble for it many times. These days I'm much more careful, but some times I drop my guard down, even here on BN. Then in private messages and with good friends irl, I talk much more. I've learned it the hard way that knowing who to share things with is really important, silence is golden some times, oversharing will get you in trouble.
So once again the importance and value of trust cannot be understated. And those few people who are worth it, keep them close because there wont be many in a lifetime. Same goes with romantic partners, there can only be few "love of your life" kind of people. Most of them are not that. This comes from a ton of experience, both good and bad as I've dated so many ladies back in the day, a lot of whom I would swap for something longer lasting and stable if I could change the past. I have never dated men btw, I never found a guy like that as I have massive gargantuan trust issues about them.