[SweetO]

Hi SweetO,
It sounds like he omitted or at least may have omitted a big piece of information about himself, if he, in fact thought he told you he was bi and he didn't then he owes you an apology. My wife knew all my history before we got married, enough about me though.

You have or have not overblown the situation, trust is a hard thing to earn and even harder to get it back after you have lost it, if he wants to earn your trust back you may have to open the door for that, IMHO.

If you he can sit down with you and let you explain how you felt when he started telling you what he would do to other men and you didn't realize until that minute he was bi, and whether he told you or not you don't remember, and you can tell him if want, if he did tell you and you don't remember you then apologize,if you want to say that. Then ask him to start over and ask him to tell you about it.

If he can start over and tell you about his past, at least what he's not too embarrassed to say at this point, then you have a keeper. It may take him a while to totally open up, because men can be cautious like that, there's been a lot of stigma towards gay/bi men, cross dressers and Trans.

Let's face it, a woman can wear a mens button up flannel, a pair of jeans and boots and no one bats an eye, a man wears a pretty skirt, a blouse and a pair of ladies shoes and people stare at him, unless he can totally pass for a female with no make-up on, of course. I am not making excuses for him, just letting you know what I experienced from a mans point of veiw.

I don't think you're homophobic. You have a lot going on in life and some past trust issues so this may have been the straw that broke the camels back. So if you really like this guy, give him a second chance.

Hi Tomi! Thanks for giving me your perspective and for lending a hand. 

The issue isn't that he's bisexual; the problem is he wants to start something serious with me (he's going to Switzerland for work for a few months and has asked me to come with him) and he started off by lying about his age. First, he said he was older than me, then my age, and then in the end, he's two years younger... I know it sounds trivial, but it makes you wonder, why would someone feel the need to lie about their age? It makes no sense! I'm aware of the stigma surrounding gays, bisexuals, queers, etc. I know because I see it with my friends, not firsthand of course. But I know the pain exists and it's tough to handle. I'm not here to judge anyone. What I'm saying is he's been asking me things, getting to know more about my life, my environment, things that make me vulnerable, and he hasn't been willing to share things that I believe are relevant if you want to start a relationship...



That is to say, for instance, most of my bisexual friends are in polyamorous relationships. I don't know if he's interested in that, because right now I really don't know what to think. Or I have some bisexual friends who admit they have a preference for one gender over the other, and when they are in a relationship with one gender, they sometimes miss aspects of the other gender. 
Clearly, I'm aware these possibilities exist and I'm capable of having a conversation about it, but with honesty. Not omitting details or implying that I should already know or assume things when he's never mentioned anything about any man until he brought up Superman.
It's one thing to have casual relationships or ones without commitment: he's asked me not to look back and not to forgive my ex, he's talked about meeting his father who lives in the US, he's told me he's going to be away for work and asked me to come with him to Switzerland (we live in Spain)... so I wonder: what's his game?