[SweetO]

EDIT: This is personal talk subforum, threads here don't need to have anything to do with NBE...

Firstly, you're not being homophobic, secondly you have right to know this guy as its obviously going deeper and possibly more intimate and important than casual frienship. Of course, he can not disclose what ever he wishes to keep to himself? But its not nice in the slightest... I can say how I personally deal with my private stuff, sexual orientation is one of the first I make clear if things seem serious. Transition and medical stuff comes much later as that is very private information which is totally not everybody's business. Not even a potential love interest, until they become closer and it seems that things might go serious. I think this is the way to deal with these things which are important, but not something to be told to anyone, anywhere.

Then again, I don't think we owe anyone explanations about these matters, but when getting to really know someone and close, I at least want any potential partner to actually know me. Might be different for this guy in question?

About cis bi men... I don't trust them one bit. Firstly, many of them are gays in disguise, they're actually all into men, but saying they're bisexual is socially more acceptable and lot of them are also in denial. To a lot of them its a fantasy or a fetish, the thing about men being purely sexual. Also a lot of them search pre/non op trans women to make that happen. Thinking trans women are more acceptable being feminine enough but they still don't even recognise us as women at all. I don't trust bi guys, too many have huge red flags all over them. Of course I can't tell about this particular guy in question. Just that my experience about these guys is not good at all. Then again, straight guys are much worse. At least to any minority woman like me.



THen again, I'm biased on giving advice about men as my experience is exceptionally bad. They have all been assholes to me with very few exceptions.

Lara <3


Exactly, it's what you're saying. If I'm getting to know someone just to hang out or simply for fun, there are many things I don't need to know. The issue is when someone is constantly telling you how special you are, that you shouldn't go back to your ex (I broke up with my ex a year ago and it was quite traumatic, Bobbi knows I've been struggling with a long-distance relationship that didn't work out in the end...) to trust them, that you're in a safe place, to gain perspective and to always be yourself... I think, this applies both ways, right?

On the other hand, he lied to me about his age. At first, he told me he was two years older than me, then my age, and finally, he's two years younger than that. When I found out he had lied about this, I got a bit upset because I don't understand such childishness, but I tried to downplay it. Now I wonder how much I really know about him, as I keep adding omissions to the list ...


Regarding what you mentioned about bisexuals, you're right, there's a stigma, no doubt about that. But he knows perfectly well the social circles I move in, and I have no prejudices towards them. In fact, as I mentioned, he's met friends of mine who have shared countless stories about their romantic and sexual experiences, and I've just been there listening and offering advice, like any other friend would. On the other hand, I understand that everyone has their own pace when it comes to getting to know and trusting others, but then don't ask me to spill my entire romantic history and even question if I've had lesbian relationships or the like (for instance, I told him one of my first loves was a boy from my hometown, openly gay, we were friends at first but after two years things got complicated and it was painful breaking off the friendship because my friend was confused about his feelings...). 

I just feel he's betrayed my trust, that's all.