22-10-2023, 02:28 PM
Hi SweetO,
It sounds like he omitted or at least may have omitted a big piece of information about himself, if he, in fact thought he told you he was bi and he didn't then he owes you an apology. My wife knew all my history before we got married, enough about me though.
You have or have not overblown the situation, trust is a hard thing to earn and even harder to get it back after you have lost it, if he wants to earn your trust back you may have to open the door for that, IMHO.
If you he can sit down with you and let you explain how you felt when he started telling you what he would do to other men and you didn't realize until that minute he was bi, and whether he told you or not you don't remember, and you can tell him if want, if he did tell you and you don't remember you then apologize,if you want to say that. Then ask him to start over and ask him to tell you about it.
If he can start over and tell you about his past, at least what he's not too embarrassed to say at this point, then you have a keeper. It may take him a while to totally open up, because men can be cautious like that, there's been a lot of stigma towards gay/bi men, cross dressers and Trans.
Let's face it, a woman can wear a mens button up flannel, a pair of jeans and boots and no one bats an eye, a man wears a pretty skirt, a blouse and a pair of ladies shoes and people stare at him, unless he can totally pass for a female with no make-up on, of course. I am not making excuses for him, just letting you know what I experienced from a mans point of veiw.
I don't think you're homophobic. You have a lot going on in life and some past trust issues so this may have been the straw that broke the camels back. So if you really like this guy, give him a second chance.
It sounds like he omitted or at least may have omitted a big piece of information about himself, if he, in fact thought he told you he was bi and he didn't then he owes you an apology. My wife knew all my history before we got married, enough about me though.
You have or have not overblown the situation, trust is a hard thing to earn and even harder to get it back after you have lost it, if he wants to earn your trust back you may have to open the door for that, IMHO.
If you he can sit down with you and let you explain how you felt when he started telling you what he would do to other men and you didn't realize until that minute he was bi, and whether he told you or not you don't remember, and you can tell him if want, if he did tell you and you don't remember you then apologize,if you want to say that. Then ask him to start over and ask him to tell you about it.
If he can start over and tell you about his past, at least what he's not too embarrassed to say at this point, then you have a keeper. It may take him a while to totally open up, because men can be cautious like that, there's been a lot of stigma towards gay/bi men, cross dressers and Trans.
Let's face it, a woman can wear a mens button up flannel, a pair of jeans and boots and no one bats an eye, a man wears a pretty skirt, a blouse and a pair of ladies shoes and people stare at him, unless he can totally pass for a female with no make-up on, of course. I am not making excuses for him, just letting you know what I experienced from a mans point of veiw.
I don't think you're homophobic. You have a lot going on in life and some past trust issues so this may have been the straw that broke the camels back. So if you really like this guy, give him a second chance.