Here I am, remembering this site three and a half years later. I come back and read this post, and all I can think is one thing:
GODS I WAS SUCH AN EGG.
Might as well post an update here, lol: it took me a while, but I realized that I am, in fact, a trans girl. I've been on full on HRT for two and a half years now, and I'm so, so much happier living this way. Also, I've been having tons of growth since switching to HRT, especially injections recently: I'm almost certainly a C cup now! Considering this journey essentially started here with me pursuing this deep desire I had for my own breasts (I literally bought estradiol pills before I even realized I was trans, lol), I'll always be eternally grateful to have found a place where I could feel safe enough to explore myself in this way, even without my egg cracking first.