27-06-2023, 03:17 AM
Hi people! I've missed this place and been away so long!
Wow! So much has happened since I last updated half a year ago. I guess I'll try my best to fill in some of the details between then and now. First off, as I last posted, my parents do know about me and all that. My mom since the beginning had been doing her best and has since become very open and happy to be around me. We go shopping, we text pretty often, shes even fine shopping for girl clothes with me and bought me so much to help improve my wardrobe. New shoes, tops, bottoms, over wear, pretty much anything but bras and panties.
She's just been so great. The only real issue is she still calls me a guy, he, him, and so on. She's not done it in front of people when we are out at least. It's also the only thing she does that makes me cringe or feel meh about. I've brought it up but, hard to complain too much when she then proceeds to take me out getting new shoes or clothes in female sections of the stores right there in front of everyone to see. She almost seems proud to do this all with me and I think we've both been having a lot of fun together. I'm glad she was also able to find a support group that let her work things out and have her connect deeper with me.
My dad as I imagined is still struggling with it all. I still present male for him, or as much as I still can at least, wearing super baggy clothes, no makeup, or any effort put into my appearance while I swap back to my old male voice. Days around him are hard on me since it's putting me back into that mindset of who I was back then. It ruins my day and can make me rather dysphoric. I do it cus I love him and my mom, but I can't say I go see him regularly now, I hardly talk to him even in text, and have told my mom how bad things are and that I mentally need to prepare myself to be around him along with doing vocal warmups just to use my old voice again. However maybe things will start to change?
There's been a few unfortunate moments (for him) in which he accidentally sees or hears me being girly. I do try to hide that stuff from him out of respect even though I know I shouldn't have to. One of these moments had him driving by where I live, me out wearing new clothes that my mom and I picked out together, so he honks and waves, leaving me waving back while having a minor heart attack and awkwardly rushing back inside. Turns out my mom was with him that day and she told me that he asked her 'is jamie really happy now?' and she says 'yes' with him giving a 'good' in return. And though it's a simple thing, just hearing that, knowing he does want to see me happy even though I know he doesn't support what I'm doing, made me tear up a bit. One day, maybe one day, he will come around at last ^-^
Anyway beyond that I've just had lots of stress in terms of living situations. Moving. Thinking of moving again cus of more bad situations. I just feel like I never get to settle and am basically just always wondering if I'm going to be moving again. It's a terrible way to live and I hate it, so I'm doing what I can trying to move into a real house that I have a say in very soon within the next couple of months.
Some good things are that I now have an amazing epilator that makes my legs so smooth and hair-free. I'm all but done with getting anymore laser treatments and am only doing a few more since I have unlimited appointments to make use of. I have been messing with makeup in the little down time I get and now go out with some on whenever I can. And with all my new shoes and clothes I have lots of nice choices to go out looking decent in~ Of course it's always nice that I never get misgendered either. Not even once has someone called me a guy or sir or anything like that. Do they think it in their heads? Do people know? Are some people looking or maybe talking about me behind my back? I don't know. I'll say if it's true, it's certainly a lot more quiet and hushed then it used to be when I was a 'male' growing up who had boobs so everyone always stared and openly harassed me.
I can only go by what I'm told, what I hear, and the generally mundane expressions people give me that help a bit to confirm I blend in as female. So as of this writing I can only assume I pass, maybe even stealth. It makes me happy since that was always my dream going into this, with my nightmare being that I'd look like some guy in a dress. Some caricature of a female that looks more drag queen than cis. Luckily I think I'm beyond that, even though I do get my doubts some days. Maybe I'll still pursue surgeries for cosmetic purposes. If I do it'll likely be a hair lowering type situation since that to me is the spot that makes me the most self-conscious. Either way I've since last updating been to a therapist and have received my gender dysphoria diagnosis, meaning that I can likely get most anything covered since the state I live in is pretty open about supporting transgender care (at least for now). Something that'll help my wallet and my mind going forward.
I suppose to end this I'll say what all I've added/changed in my program and add in a few newer pictures.
---------------
Estrogen Enanthate (6.4mg every Friday, Sub injections)
Progesterone (100mg a night, Suppository)
Green Tea Extract
Red Reishi Mushroom
MSM
Vitamin D3
GABA
New Additions:
Milk Thistle
Goat's Rue
Ginseng
---------------
I can go more in detail if asked but I really wanted to see how those new additions would work. So far they've made my areola/nipple area more moist as if the montgomery glands were lubricating it more than usual, but no real sensitivity or difference otherwise. It's only been about 3 weeks on so far however so I'll see if things change especially since I've recently upped the dosage of them.
Until next time, stay safe out there! Hope everyone has been doing well and I've been praying for those who I know haven't been in the best health mentally or physically. My best wishes and thoughts to all those struggling. I wish I could do more to help you all.
Wow! So much has happened since I last updated half a year ago. I guess I'll try my best to fill in some of the details between then and now. First off, as I last posted, my parents do know about me and all that. My mom since the beginning had been doing her best and has since become very open and happy to be around me. We go shopping, we text pretty often, shes even fine shopping for girl clothes with me and bought me so much to help improve my wardrobe. New shoes, tops, bottoms, over wear, pretty much anything but bras and panties.
She's just been so great. The only real issue is she still calls me a guy, he, him, and so on. She's not done it in front of people when we are out at least. It's also the only thing she does that makes me cringe or feel meh about. I've brought it up but, hard to complain too much when she then proceeds to take me out getting new shoes or clothes in female sections of the stores right there in front of everyone to see. She almost seems proud to do this all with me and I think we've both been having a lot of fun together. I'm glad she was also able to find a support group that let her work things out and have her connect deeper with me.
My dad as I imagined is still struggling with it all. I still present male for him, or as much as I still can at least, wearing super baggy clothes, no makeup, or any effort put into my appearance while I swap back to my old male voice. Days around him are hard on me since it's putting me back into that mindset of who I was back then. It ruins my day and can make me rather dysphoric. I do it cus I love him and my mom, but I can't say I go see him regularly now, I hardly talk to him even in text, and have told my mom how bad things are and that I mentally need to prepare myself to be around him along with doing vocal warmups just to use my old voice again. However maybe things will start to change?
There's been a few unfortunate moments (for him) in which he accidentally sees or hears me being girly. I do try to hide that stuff from him out of respect even though I know I shouldn't have to. One of these moments had him driving by where I live, me out wearing new clothes that my mom and I picked out together, so he honks and waves, leaving me waving back while having a minor heart attack and awkwardly rushing back inside. Turns out my mom was with him that day and she told me that he asked her 'is jamie really happy now?' and she says 'yes' with him giving a 'good' in return. And though it's a simple thing, just hearing that, knowing he does want to see me happy even though I know he doesn't support what I'm doing, made me tear up a bit. One day, maybe one day, he will come around at last ^-^
Anyway beyond that I've just had lots of stress in terms of living situations. Moving. Thinking of moving again cus of more bad situations. I just feel like I never get to settle and am basically just always wondering if I'm going to be moving again. It's a terrible way to live and I hate it, so I'm doing what I can trying to move into a real house that I have a say in very soon within the next couple of months.
Some good things are that I now have an amazing epilator that makes my legs so smooth and hair-free. I'm all but done with getting anymore laser treatments and am only doing a few more since I have unlimited appointments to make use of. I have been messing with makeup in the little down time I get and now go out with some on whenever I can. And with all my new shoes and clothes I have lots of nice choices to go out looking decent in~ Of course it's always nice that I never get misgendered either. Not even once has someone called me a guy or sir or anything like that. Do they think it in their heads? Do people know? Are some people looking or maybe talking about me behind my back? I don't know. I'll say if it's true, it's certainly a lot more quiet and hushed then it used to be when I was a 'male' growing up who had boobs so everyone always stared and openly harassed me.
I can only go by what I'm told, what I hear, and the generally mundane expressions people give me that help a bit to confirm I blend in as female. So as of this writing I can only assume I pass, maybe even stealth. It makes me happy since that was always my dream going into this, with my nightmare being that I'd look like some guy in a dress. Some caricature of a female that looks more drag queen than cis. Luckily I think I'm beyond that, even though I do get my doubts some days. Maybe I'll still pursue surgeries for cosmetic purposes. If I do it'll likely be a hair lowering type situation since that to me is the spot that makes me the most self-conscious. Either way I've since last updating been to a therapist and have received my gender dysphoria diagnosis, meaning that I can likely get most anything covered since the state I live in is pretty open about supporting transgender care (at least for now). Something that'll help my wallet and my mind going forward.
I suppose to end this I'll say what all I've added/changed in my program and add in a few newer pictures.
---------------
Estrogen Enanthate (6.4mg every Friday, Sub injections)
Progesterone (100mg a night, Suppository)
Green Tea Extract
Red Reishi Mushroom
MSM
Vitamin D3
GABA
New Additions:
Milk Thistle
Goat's Rue
Ginseng
---------------
I can go more in detail if asked but I really wanted to see how those new additions would work. So far they've made my areola/nipple area more moist as if the montgomery glands were lubricating it more than usual, but no real sensitivity or difference otherwise. It's only been about 3 weeks on so far however so I'll see if things change especially since I've recently upped the dosage of them.
Until next time, stay safe out there! Hope everyone has been doing well and I've been praying for those who I know haven't been in the best health mentally or physically. My best wishes and thoughts to all those struggling. I wish I could do more to help you all.