[BGT4190]

I'm a man in conflict still trying to balance my desires with my established life and relationships. I've been a closeted bi-sexual since I was a teenager and never took any feminizing drugs or herbs. I started out trying PM recently and have switched to experimenting with Estradial cream on the scrotum, getting a little taste of what it feels like to feminize myself, loving it other than I have a sore chest and emotionally unstable. I've always been a bit feminine in physical build and sensitivity but my life requires functioning in a man's role, especially in business and established relationships so can't imagine the day will ever come where I can get away with a full transition. I love how it feels and want to become more feminine but the reality for me is having to permanently maintain a split personality if I continue experimenting with feminizing hormones. It's not a big deal being on the down low and sneaky if you're just gay or bisexual but a little harder if you start growing tits and looking like a woman. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation. 

I promised myself I would at least keep my chest, arms and bottom of my legs unshaved so I can wear shorts around family but with my little sore titty buds I couldn't help shaving my chest and the rest of my legs today.

Really want to try the diy estradial gel route, keep telling myself I better pull back but then I crank it up to the next level. I don't know where this is going but it feels good while I can get away with it. I think the worst thing that can happen is I go back to my old boring life with a pair of man tits.