14-12-2022, 05:19 AM
Hi there everyone! It's been a long time since I've updated so thought I'd finally go and tell you all how things have been going for me.
Well--first off I told my parents that I'm transgender. It's out in the open and it's a good feeling. It was hard, to say the least. Prob one of the most difficult and emotional things I've done. I was scared of how my dad would react so I did it over the phone while staying at a friends house. Let me say this friend, she hardly knew me outside of a mutual friend, and yet was so supportive and kind. She even got me a small assortment of makeup to start me off on my cosmetics journey~
Anyway my mom was rather calm over the phone. She listened, expressed her concerns, wanted to know if it was a recent feeling which of course it wasn't, but overall said I shouldn't feel bad or apologize for how I feel and that she will love me no matter what. She says she never guessed despite all the stuff she'd been doing/saying and the old bottles of PM she found. I'm pretty sure she did but didn't want to make my dad upset by having him know she knew before him.
My dad was another story. Though, he didn't explode or yell or tell me I'm wrong or dumb or a travesty against humanity, which is better than I was hoping for, he did make a weird guttural sound and instantly have to give the phone back to my mom without any kind of questions or talking. I think he was crying but it was hard to tell. He knew I was scared to tell him what I had to say so maybe that let him be a little gentler about it and decide to say nothing at all rather than something mean or shouty.
A couple days go by while I stay at my friends house. My mom and I text a bit sometimes during that. I tell my friends how I am, whats going on, and keep them updated. I head back home and things go on. My dad still doesn't talk or text. I'm too afraid to message him. He accidentally texts me once wishing me a happy bday. It was actually his sister's bday. We share a day but are one month apart so I can kinda get the confusion. I find out through my mom that he doesn't want me to show up to Thanksgiving if I were to be dressed in any way female. I didn't plan to so early after telling them, but I just decide to make them a pie, drop it off, and say hi and that I love them and all that.
I start presenting female in public. It's great to finally get the chance~ It's all casual clothes but I love it and I feel safe cus I'm with friends. Eventually I start talking to strangers, store clerks, and so on. I'm being gendered female by everyone! Not a single person calls me a guy outside of a slip from friends that knew me before which they always fix quickly. I think I pass?! It's only been getting better and still not a single mis-gender! I feel so so happy to be able to go outside as me and use my real voice now, hehe~
Fast forward to just last week. My mom comes over to drop off some usual stuff. A few days before she has hinted that I'll like my presents this year. I wonder what they could be. My bday and Christmas are both coming up after all. Some almond milk, tea, wrapping paper that I asked for since she has so much, but then she has these two black cylindrical cases in one of the bags and gets all antsy when I get close. She says we will talk about that later, and so she takes me back to my room since she doesn't feel like showing me in front of my roommate.
Tada~ There it is. 2 cases full of new high quality brushes, hair products, makeup, the works! She starts telling me tips and what I can use things for. How to wash the brushes. I'm just beaming. This was the best present I'd ever gotten and it wasn't even my bday yet~ And it's not at all due to the worth of things, but what it means. That's what makes a great gift!
She supports me, even if she is still uncomfy doing it openly. She supports me and has given me her love even knowing that I'm trans. I'm even tearing up a bit at the thought again. I don't think I'll ever forget that day. She's even been picking a few more things up for me, or so shes been texting. She says how we can do our faces and other stuff together, that she can teach me more. She obv doesn't want my dad finding out shes doing this but it's just so amazing~ Now she is going to give me a ride to my next laser hair removal appointment in about a week.
Will my dad ever come around? Probably not. Even my mom doesn't really think its possible. But my brother, my sister, and my mom all love and support me no matter what, and thats 3 out of 4. I'll take it~
Other than that whole story/rambling, I've also gotten a few new clothes during the big holiday sales. I'm down to my lowest weight too, being in the 141 zone, so I'll prob start weight cycling soon or at least just maintain and stop being so strict. Sadly I'm sick as of my typing of this, but its just a mild cold by the feel of it. 2 days and 3 nights of an itchy throat, rare coughing, light chest pressure/burning if I exert myself, and some pains and headaches. I hope it will pass before my birthday on the 15th, but at least it seems like nothing to worry about.
Well--first off I told my parents that I'm transgender. It's out in the open and it's a good feeling. It was hard, to say the least. Prob one of the most difficult and emotional things I've done. I was scared of how my dad would react so I did it over the phone while staying at a friends house. Let me say this friend, she hardly knew me outside of a mutual friend, and yet was so supportive and kind. She even got me a small assortment of makeup to start me off on my cosmetics journey~
Anyway my mom was rather calm over the phone. She listened, expressed her concerns, wanted to know if it was a recent feeling which of course it wasn't, but overall said I shouldn't feel bad or apologize for how I feel and that she will love me no matter what. She says she never guessed despite all the stuff she'd been doing/saying and the old bottles of PM she found. I'm pretty sure she did but didn't want to make my dad upset by having him know she knew before him.
My dad was another story. Though, he didn't explode or yell or tell me I'm wrong or dumb or a travesty against humanity, which is better than I was hoping for, he did make a weird guttural sound and instantly have to give the phone back to my mom without any kind of questions or talking. I think he was crying but it was hard to tell. He knew I was scared to tell him what I had to say so maybe that let him be a little gentler about it and decide to say nothing at all rather than something mean or shouty.
A couple days go by while I stay at my friends house. My mom and I text a bit sometimes during that. I tell my friends how I am, whats going on, and keep them updated. I head back home and things go on. My dad still doesn't talk or text. I'm too afraid to message him. He accidentally texts me once wishing me a happy bday. It was actually his sister's bday. We share a day but are one month apart so I can kinda get the confusion. I find out through my mom that he doesn't want me to show up to Thanksgiving if I were to be dressed in any way female. I didn't plan to so early after telling them, but I just decide to make them a pie, drop it off, and say hi and that I love them and all that.
I start presenting female in public. It's great to finally get the chance~ It's all casual clothes but I love it and I feel safe cus I'm with friends. Eventually I start talking to strangers, store clerks, and so on. I'm being gendered female by everyone! Not a single person calls me a guy outside of a slip from friends that knew me before which they always fix quickly. I think I pass?! It's only been getting better and still not a single mis-gender! I feel so so happy to be able to go outside as me and use my real voice now, hehe~
Fast forward to just last week. My mom comes over to drop off some usual stuff. A few days before she has hinted that I'll like my presents this year. I wonder what they could be. My bday and Christmas are both coming up after all. Some almond milk, tea, wrapping paper that I asked for since she has so much, but then she has these two black cylindrical cases in one of the bags and gets all antsy when I get close. She says we will talk about that later, and so she takes me back to my room since she doesn't feel like showing me in front of my roommate.
Tada~ There it is. 2 cases full of new high quality brushes, hair products, makeup, the works! She starts telling me tips and what I can use things for. How to wash the brushes. I'm just beaming. This was the best present I'd ever gotten and it wasn't even my bday yet~ And it's not at all due to the worth of things, but what it means. That's what makes a great gift!
She supports me, even if she is still uncomfy doing it openly. She supports me and has given me her love even knowing that I'm trans. I'm even tearing up a bit at the thought again. I don't think I'll ever forget that day. She's even been picking a few more things up for me, or so shes been texting. She says how we can do our faces and other stuff together, that she can teach me more. She obv doesn't want my dad finding out shes doing this but it's just so amazing~ Now she is going to give me a ride to my next laser hair removal appointment in about a week.
Will my dad ever come around? Probably not. Even my mom doesn't really think its possible. But my brother, my sister, and my mom all love and support me no matter what, and thats 3 out of 4. I'll take it~
Other than that whole story/rambling, I've also gotten a few new clothes during the big holiday sales. I'm down to my lowest weight too, being in the 141 zone, so I'll prob start weight cycling soon or at least just maintain and stop being so strict. Sadly I'm sick as of my typing of this, but its just a mild cold by the feel of it. 2 days and 3 nights of an itchy throat, rare coughing, light chest pressure/burning if I exert myself, and some pains and headaches. I hope it will pass before my birthday on the 15th, but at least it seems like nothing to worry about.