[Rachel]

Always knew I was different  than the other boys.  Grew up in a very conservative area in the 70's. At the age of 6 or 7 tried to pull off my privates because I wanted to play with the girls and their dolls and hopscotch.  I am the youngest of 4 boys who are all very masculine and was picked on by them incessantly hence I became a very good street brawler and was the boy that would fight in a heartbeat to protect anyone from bullies so in that way I was very masculine.  First tried on womens clothing and walking around in moms high heels whenever i had the chance at the age of around 10. Being gay or even worse trans was not acceptable in my family or town where i grew up so i presented as an alpha male and had many girlfriends but was always jealous of their clothes, hair and makeup.  i am now 59 and am tipping my toe into transitioning and am at the same time very excited and very scared that any changes physically and coming out will cost me my family and few friends that i have

Enough of the lifes history  

Here goes 
Had i known about BO i would have started taking it at the age of 10 and hopefully would have never had male puberty
If i could flip a switch and become female and my family would accept me as such ....... in a heartbeat
If i could go back and never marry or have children and live as a trans woman ,,,,,, probably

Am I gay....  not really I am a bisexual woman with parts i have no desire to have and  also have missing parts inside and out