[Manue]

Hi Manue,

You are inspirational! Many of us, like me, are just cracking open the closet door. Reading about others and their success and happiness warms my heart and resonates my soul!

Thank you,
Crystal

Thank you for the kind words and I'm glad it made your soul resonate! I also love your name ahah.

I would like to share a bit more.

I found a comfortable spot with people that know my former self. That they are my clients, family or friends, I'll keep using my male voice and dress up manly/androgynous. My expression is naturally like that with them so why would I force things and feel awkward? I've been bouncing between walls about that since early transitioning and I hope to see the day I don't pay attention to people's reaction in my presence. I simply need it right now to know where I'm standing. I know that no matter the amount time and surgery I put on my feminine appearance, I'll always see a man in the mirror just like I know who is a trans when no cis people see it. With new people or on my own, they really don't know I was ever a manly man and I get more expressive and feminine. Again, naturally.

Although, I'm breaking personal records of celibacy right now, dating made a slight comeback and I let myself get approached by men as I'm much more receptive to that energy. Probably from the hormones.  The problem is that I'm straight! I still want to explore though, so I tell them right away with a "Good luck!". I love the flirt! Well, these men, no exception, became agressive and about to get violent. I gave chances and the next time got worse. I learned that when the tears (for me) and that cracking feeling come up, it's simply over. It happened when I wanted to understand something and was asking questions. In the past, I loved when women did that so I have no idea what's wrong!

It could be perceived negatively, but I learned a lot about my (new) self and inverted dynamics through those experiences and I could express myself the way I felt. Practicing voice, boundaries, manners, etc. It's very helpful and my expectations are limited as I feel like I'm very early in my transformation. I move on rapidly.

Being comfortable in my skin by not having that dysphoria anymore is very empowering to the point I see people around me displaying utter respect like I never seen in my life. That means a lot to me.

Other than this, I'm probably going to have my last facial laser session in November after 9 sessions only. So, if people can find a salon that uses a laser called "Triton" for hair removal, I definitely recommend it.

I wish you a happy week!