No it's not in your DNA to become a pleaser it's just how a dominant person has programmed you to think, how to assess yourself as a person, how to control you, how to submit you, how to be in total control. I was there once but the most ridiculous thing about it all is why they do this.
They are afraid!
They are so scared of losing you they will dominate and make you feel that you need them more than they need you so they make you feel as though without them the world is pointless. She will make you feel worthless and undesirable, a person that others will never approach because you are insignificant and worthless, you should be grateful that she accepts you and will allow you to do things to her and feel privileged because nobody else ever will. Its all an illusion but they are very good at it, at convincing you that you are despicable and not worthy. But what it all comes down to.
They are fucking terrified of losing you!
No matter how scary they may seem and for whatever reason they may have for being so, there is a frightened little girl inside who is afraid, very afraid of rejection.
Just take care of her, it may not seem so but she needs you a lot more than you need her.