29-03-2019, 12:14 AM
First of al, thank you all for your replies. They are interesting because they all come from different points of view and I can recognise part of myself in each of them.
@ariadne I know where you are coming from. At the same time I know that chemistry (like. chemical stuff) actually has an impact on us. My mind has recently been all over the place because of the many events I have going on in the next year and the relative lack of satisfaction that I am getting at work. This is definitely not helping, but the fact that I am not acting "on testosterone" as a "normal guy" is also quite clear. I really have a very very low sex drive. I used to consume quite some porn and write TG fiction, but in the last month even thinking about porn is almost and hassle and I have zero inspiration for my stories. I am trying to put my "male mind" in its place, but the lack of testosterone is noticeable.
@Julie I see what you are saying. I, too, had better performances while on PM then now. I guess I am at a point where T and (phyto)E are balanced and none of them pushes me over the edge. Still, I don't want to push PM too far too soon, so I must regain control of my T somehow. As I wrote before, it's quite a stressful time in every part of my life. I am usually pretty bad affected by my daily life when it comes to sex, and that's bad enough by itself. I feel that the lack of some "male aggressivity" from T is not helping much, though. The pink fog has rarely been this bad before.
@Boobienoobie I don't really have a plan. I keep telling myself that i will stop as soon as thing get embarassing for my wife and kid. I am now a "fully qualified" 38A. I've seen men with a 38B grown on PM and if I ever got there (which is 2 inches more on my bust) I would be in deeeeep trouble. As much as I like this journey I have no will to transition, so I must stop myself sooner or later. I believe that those 2 inches would take at least another 2 years to grow, so I feel that from a physical point of view I am still quite in control.
I agree on the fact that once the receptors are there, they are there to stay and will catch all the E in the body regardless of where it's from . I am 40 this year, ad the more I age the more it's likely my body will become unattractive (for males standard) anyway, so if I stopepd now and ended up gaining another cup by the time I'm 60 it wouldn't be a problem.
Thank you all for your advices and thoughts. It really help to have someone that understands what I am feeling and experiencing. Please feel free to chip in with any other advice or idea.
@ariadne I know where you are coming from. At the same time I know that chemistry (like. chemical stuff) actually has an impact on us. My mind has recently been all over the place because of the many events I have going on in the next year and the relative lack of satisfaction that I am getting at work. This is definitely not helping, but the fact that I am not acting "on testosterone" as a "normal guy" is also quite clear. I really have a very very low sex drive. I used to consume quite some porn and write TG fiction, but in the last month even thinking about porn is almost and hassle and I have zero inspiration for my stories. I am trying to put my "male mind" in its place, but the lack of testosterone is noticeable.
@Julie I see what you are saying. I, too, had better performances while on PM then now. I guess I am at a point where T and (phyto)E are balanced and none of them pushes me over the edge. Still, I don't want to push PM too far too soon, so I must regain control of my T somehow. As I wrote before, it's quite a stressful time in every part of my life. I am usually pretty bad affected by my daily life when it comes to sex, and that's bad enough by itself. I feel that the lack of some "male aggressivity" from T is not helping much, though. The pink fog has rarely been this bad before.
@Boobienoobie I don't really have a plan. I keep telling myself that i will stop as soon as thing get embarassing for my wife and kid. I am now a "fully qualified" 38A. I've seen men with a 38B grown on PM and if I ever got there (which is 2 inches more on my bust) I would be in deeeeep trouble. As much as I like this journey I have no will to transition, so I must stop myself sooner or later. I believe that those 2 inches would take at least another 2 years to grow, so I feel that from a physical point of view I am still quite in control.
I agree on the fact that once the receptors are there, they are there to stay and will catch all the E in the body regardless of where it's from . I am 40 this year, ad the more I age the more it's likely my body will become unattractive (for males standard) anyway, so if I stopepd now and ended up gaining another cup by the time I'm 60 it wouldn't be a problem.
Thank you all for your advices and thoughts. It really help to have someone that understands what I am feeling and experiencing. Please feel free to chip in with any other advice or idea.